Finding What Is
by domina tempore
Summary: A year of semi-related monthly Sheppard/Teyla one-shots.
1. Sheppard Christmas

**_December_**

------------

John stood nervously at the door of his father's house, and straightened his jacket for the eighth time. Beside him, Teyla laughed gently.

"I know what you are doing, John."

"And what is it that I'm doing?"

"You are trying to delay what you cannot prevent."

"You don't know my dad." She smiled.

"John, they asked you to stay for one night, and to have this holiday with them. They want you here."

"Yeah, but they don't actually know that you're here." he saw her eyebrows shoot up. "My dad only ever liked two of my girlfriends, and while I know that we're not a couple or anything you are a friend from another galaxy. I thought that if I told him about you it would just be another chance for him to get mad at me."

"You are still stalling," she told him, pushing him around towards the door. "I do not believe that they will be nearly as angry as you say. And we will never know who is right unless we go in." She glared at him with mock severity until he relented, and raised his hand to knock. Just they, the door was opened by a man who Teyla guessed to be in his late thirties. He stared at them for a second before he spoke.

"John," he said, pasting a smile onto his face. "I didn't think you'd be able to make it."

"Well, I had some time off of work and I thought, what the heck? Dad always did get the best Christmas spread available." the man's gaze turned questioning as he looked at Teyla. John followed his eyes.

"Oh, sorry, right. Teyla, this is my brother Dave; Dave, this is Teyla."

"Does Nancy know that you got remarried?" Dave asked. John shook his head violently as Teyla blushed.

"Teyla's just a friend, I know her from work. We're not married."

"Too bad," Dave said, shaking his head. "She's pretty."

"Thank you," Teyla said softly.

"Look, are you gonna let us in or what?" His brother stepped aside and ushered them in, offering to take their coats and apparently trying to act halfway civil.

"It's pretty quiet here this year," he said to John. "Just me and Dad and Rebecca and I guess you two."

"Wait, us and Dad and who?"

"Rebecca, my wife. Or didn't you ever meet her?"

"Dave, I've been on assignment for three years; I couldn't exactly desert just to meet your wife."

"And Nancy never mentioned her either?"

"Dave, I haven't talked to Nancy; not in years. And I'd appreciate if you didn't keep reminding me of her."

"Sorry." he led them into a formal living room with an tall, elegant Christmas tree against one wall.

"Um, look, Dad and Rebecca are upstairs. Why don't you guys wait here and I'll go tell them that you made it after all." Once he was gone, John breathed a deep sigh of relief and dropped onto one of three cream colored couches that filled the room.

"Sorry about that," he apologized to Teyla. "I told you, my family really doesn't like me much." Teyla shrugged.

"He was not so bad."

"Yeah, but that was only, what, five minutes? And we're gonna spend the night and most of tomorrow with them. Believe me, what doesn't seem like a big deal right now is going to get pretty annoying after the first six hours."

"That's what family is," she said. Before he could ask her what she meant Dave returned, with his wife and their father. John's eyes widened briefly when he saw him. He realized how long it had actually been since he had last seen him. Age was clearly catching up to him.  
"Hi, Dad," he said softly. He thought that he saw his father's eyes brighten when he spoke, but the light faded just as quickly.

"Welcome back, John." Awkward silence quickly filled the space after their words, until Dave cleared his throat and introduced John to his wife, Rebecca.

Sheppard had to admit, the woman was pretty. She had long, dark hair and light green eyes, and her skin was fair and smooth.

"Nice to meet you," he said.

"Are you going to introduce me to your girl?" his father cut in. John frowned a little.

"Dad, this is my friend, Teyla." he stressed the word "friend". "And this is my Dad-"

"Call me Patrick," he said gruffly, and turned back to John. "I suppose that you'll both be spending the night?"

"I was kind of hoping..."

"Fine. Rebecca, dear, will you please show Teyla to one of the guest rooms; when you're done we'll all have dinner."

"Of course." Rebecca took Teyla's hand and led her up the stairs. Patrick turned to John again. He was certain now that his family was out to get him tonight, probably intent on taking Teyla down with him. At least Rebecca didn't seem to have a grudge against him. Though after tonight, who could tell...?

"Are you back for good this time?" Patrick asked. John rolled his eyes.

"Dad, you know I can't stay. I don't have much holiday leave; if it weren't for Teyla I wouldn't even be spending it with you-"

"You should never have joined the military in the first place!"

"Dad, it's too late. It's what I do now; and just about the only thing that I'm good at, other then disappointing you."

"I just want both my sons near me, is that too much to ask?"

"Yeah, I think so. You've always wanted to be able to control our lives, and now that I'm gone you can't control mine anymore and it drives you nuts."

"John, that's not true-"

"Hey!" Dave silenced them both. They looked expectantly at him. "For the sake of my wife and John's "friend", can we pretend that whatever problems you've got don't exist for tonight? I doubt that they came here to listen to the two of you argue."

"First smart thing I've heard here all night," John said. The three of them maintained a stony silence until Rebecca and Teyla got back. Then, they went into a dining room where, asd John had promised, an incredible feast was laid out.

"And this is only Christmas Eve," he whispered to Teyla. "Wait until you see tomorrow's dinner."

Durning the meal, it was Rebecca who held up the majority of the conversation, with each of them. She talked to her father in law, to her husband, to John and Teyla. John felt bad for her, and regreted his decision to accept the invatition. His brother poor wife had come tonight with no idea of the problems that he woluld stir up. She didn't deserve to be stuck in the middle of all this.

"So where are you from?" Rebecca asked Teyla suddenly, and John was instantly alert and nervous. He knew that Teyla was most worried about slipping up on earth and telling someone about Pegasus. But he waited to see if she would need help to get out of it.

"Very far away," she said. "I am not allowed to discuss it."

"Does she work with you, John?"

"Yeah, you could say that."

"John tends to get assigned a lot of "top secret" missions," Dave said, with only mild sarcasm. "We never find out much about where he's been or who his friends are."

"You must have exciting work," Rebecca said. Teyla glanced at John, smiling a little.

"You could say that."

------------

After dinner, Patrick said they had a while until desert, and he had some things to get done before then. He disappeared into his office, and Dave and Rebecca went into the kitchen to get a bottle of wine that had been chilling. It gave John and Teyla a few minutes of privacy, which he welcomed gladly.

"Again, I'm sorry about everything. I really didn't expect things to be quite as bad as this."

"Why do you keep apologizing for your family?" Teyla asked him.

"Because they're being rude to you. Well, not Rebecca," he amended. "But that's only becasue she's so new to the family. She doesn't understand why they hate me."

"Your family does not hate you."

"They wouldn't be hazing us if they didn't."

"What are you ashamed of?" Teyla asked. John sighed, and glanced around. But they were still the only two people in the room.

"Come here," he said, leading her out of a glass door and onto a terrace. He walked to the edge and leaned on the railing, glad for the small amount of familiarity.

"When I was younger, things weren't like this. My family did everything together, and we loved it. But when I was ten, my mom died."

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"Hey, no problem. But after we lost her, things changed. My brother grew closer to my father, and I started to resent him. That's why I joined the Air Force instead of going into the family buisness like my dad wanted. And that made him resent me, and things have just gotten worse over the years. And of course Dave hated me becasue Dad spent so much time trying to get me to come home... back here. And this has always beent the last place that I wanted to be." Teyla was quiet for a long time, and John knew that she was turning all this new information about him over in her mind. At length, she spoke.

"You're wrong, you know," she said softly. "They don't hate you."

"You've been here for barely two hours; what do you know?"

"I know that I saw pride in your father's eyes when he saw you, and when your brother spoke of "top secret" missions. I know that I saw regret in your brother's eyes, when you did not tease him back when he opened the door. I know that your family knows loss, and that loss makes you appreciate whatever time you have with those who still live so much more," she paused, letting her eyes drop before she continued. "I know that you look at your brother and are jealous, because he has something with your father that you desperately want for yourself."

"Why do you care?" John asked her when he was sure she was done. "You've spent the night being berated by my brother and father whether you realize it or not."

"Is that what you think all this is?" she looked into his eyes again.

"That's how it's always been." Teyla shook her head.

"You know very little about your family, John." she said. Much quieter, on the end she added, "I wish that you could see through my eyes."

------------

That night, John tossed and turned in bed long after the everyone else had gone to sleep. Finally, he got up, and crpet down the stairs to his father's study. His conversation with Teyla had been stuck in his head the rest of the night, and it was dirving him crazy. He had to go look at the pictures in his father's office; there was something that John remembered from his childhood that he wanted to see if Patrick still had.

In his family, there had been many military men over the years. He'd been named for his father's favorite uncle, who had made it to General in the Airforce and whose career John had begun to follow. But his father had always kept pictures of all the military members of his family; last John remembered there were eight, including his father and his dead brother, Jason. That had been the other point of contention between them; his brother had died, and Patrick had not wanted his youngest son to suffer the same fate. But all John had seen was a controling father. He had never guessed, until today, at the love that might be hidden beneath.

He stepped into the office and stared at the wall where he knew that the pictures hung. Moonlight splashed across them, making it easy for him to see. He counted, holding his breath. These pictures, more then anything else, would tell him if Teyla was right about how his family felt.

His breath caught in his throat as he counted nine black oval frames. He moved closer, and forced himself to look at the newest one. It was him! His father had actually put him with the family heroes. That meant more to him than any amount of encouraging words from his father. It meant that he was proud of him, that he respected his decisions.

"You know, I put that up last time you were here," he spun around and saw his father, sitting at his desk. "I really am proud of you, son."

"Thanks, Dad." he sat on the edge of the desk, and they sat in silence for a while. But it was not uncomfortable like it had been.

"That girl you brought here," Patrick said finally. "She's a good friend to put up with your brother and me for so long."

"Yeah," John said thoughtfully. "She's a good friend."

"Do you have anything to give her tomorrow?" John looked up.

"No." he'd completely forgot. What an idiot!...

"I think I might have something that would be appropriate..." Patrick dug around in his desk drawer until he found what he was looking for, and came up with a small box. John opened it, and gasped.

"I can't give her this!"

"Why not?"

"It was Moms! Why would you give it away?"

"Because you love her, John. And your mother would have wanted it to be passed on, not kept in a draw until we all pass on." John closed the box.

"Thank you, so much. You have no idea what this means to me."

"I think I do, John. Merry Christmas."

------------

The next morning, the house was awakened to the smell of hot chocolate and cinnamon buns; the traditional Sheppard family Christmas breakfast. Things went much more smoothly then they had the night before, with even Dave being fairly pleasant to both John and Teyla. For that, his brother was grateful.

Sheppard didn't give Teyla her gift until they had a few mintues alone. He took her aside, back out on the terrace, and handed her a little wrapped box.

"What is this?" she asked.

"A Christmas present," he explained. "For you."

"But I have nothing for you."

"Hey, you suffered through a night with my family; and I didn't have to do it alone. That alone was a present." she seemed overcome by his gesture, and couldn't speak.

"Open it," he encouraged. He watched with anticipation as her slender fingers undid the wrapping and slipped the top off. Her eyes widened.

"It's beautiful," she said as he took a golden necklace out of the box. There was a red glass heart pendant hanging from the chain.

"It was my moms," he said, clasping it around her neck. "But I think she would have liked me to give it to you. You bring out the best in me."

"What?"

"It's nothing," he instantly brushed his compliment aside. "Merry Christmas, Teyla."

Fin.


	2. Avoiding Teyla

**_January_**

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Teyla fingered the heart necklace that John had given her on her recent trip to earth. They'd gotten back to Atlantis a few days ago, and since then they'd seen very little of each other, being kept appart by other matters. In fact, this was the first time since they'd gotten back that she'd had a chance to rest; and to think about her trip.

It had been interesting to meet John's family; it had given her a unique insight into the quirks and nuances of her friend and team-leader. She realized now that she knew more about him then probably anyone else on the city. Most of the people on the city probably had no idea that that side of John Sheppard even existed. The fact that he'd shared something like that with her excited her. But what was happening now worried her.

It wasn't just that they had different duties that kept them appart; she was certain that he was avoiding her. The first couple of days she had suspected that something was going on; but she attributed it to nothing more then simply having things to catch up on. But then for the past two or three days, it had been clear that he was staying away from her; even when she'd sought him out he had made excuses to get away. Something was clearly wrong, and she intended to at least find out what; even if there was nothing that she could do to change it.

------------

John was definately nervous. He WAS avoiding her, and he was surprised that it had taken her this long to figure it out. He'd been doing it on Daedelus too; he couldn't help it. He'd been replaying in his head the conversations that they had had on Christmas Eve and Christmas, ever since they'd left his fathers house. And he realized that some of the things that he'd said demanded an explanation. And John Sheppard was terrified of explaining those things to her. Granted, there were some things that she'd said, too, that he didn't understand; about what family is and seeing through her eyes. But knowing the answers to those questions were not worth having to explain why he'd said what he'd said to her; "You bring out the best in me." It was a phrase that had weighed heavily in his parents relationship with each other; his father had used it in his proposal to his mother. And the last thing that he wanted to do was actually reveal his feelings for her. Yeah, he loved her; but he also loved to see her happy. And she was happy with the way that things were. He didn't want to jeapordize that. Once you said things like that, it was impossible to go back. And while he'd had to say it, had to get it out, he couldn't tell her what that meant. He couldn't help but be afraid of her reaction; afraid of rejection. She was Teyla. Strong, beautiful, a leader... and alone. She didn't love anyone the way that he loved her.

------------

The next day, they had their first mission after getting back. Ronon and McKay noticed the difference in their relationship; how tense and on edge Sheppard was, and how confused and hurt Teyla seemed. They knew immediately that there was something wrong, and they saw how the team was effected. They were hunting a small group of wraith who were terrorizing a village, and the skirmish that followed wasn't particularly difficult to deal with; but both their friends were definately off their game. Sheppard barely escaped being fed on, and if Ronon had not shot it another wraith would have broken Teyla's neck. When they'd disposed of the wraith and returned to the village, McKay pulled Ronon aside while the other two assured the villagers that the wraith were gone.

"What is up with them?" he demanded bluntly. "They usually work together great; like peanut butter and jelly," Ronon frowned at his analogy. "I figure that at least one of them would have told you something. So lets hear it; what's their problem?"

"She thinks he's avoiding her," Ronon answered shortly.

"Thats it?" McKay demanded. "Do you know anything about what he's doing or thinking?"

"He's avoiding her."

"What? Is that just a guess, or do you know this for a fact?"

"He's avoiding her," Ronon repeated. "I don't know why." McKay frown thoughtfully. Suddenly, he gasped.

"Something must have happened between them while they were on earth!"

"Oh, get real McKay. This is Sheppard and Teyla we're talking about."

"Maybe you're right. But still, I could be right."

"Oh, just shut up."

------------

That night after dinner, Teyla cornered Sheppard on one of the balconies outside of the mess hall. He tried to protest and make a quick getaway; but his escape plans failed.

"You have been avoiding me," she said, traces of hurt making their way into her voice. "I need you to tell me why."

"Teyla..."

"Please. I will leave you alone if that is what you need, but I need to know. We almost died today because we cannot work like this." he sighed and looked around at the people still sitting at tables on the balcony.

"Not here," he said, his voice sounding defeated, which worried her a little. She wondered if there actually was something wrong with him, and felt a little guilty for pressuring him. But they had almost died, because he was concentration more on avoiding her, and she'd been trying to figure him out. They couldn't go on like this.

They walked through the city without speaking, looking for a quite place to talk. They finally decided on the old gym; they'd found a bigger room and moved all the equiptment there; but the both of them still liked the old room better; and whenever John was tired of the Marines seeing Teyla beat him up, they came here to practice instead.

The lights came on as they entered, and they sat down on the bench under the window. For a moment neither of them said anything; they were both trying to figure out what exactly to say. Teyla finally broke the silence, with two words.

"Tell me." John sighed again.

"I didn't want to talk to you about Christmas." she seemed genuinely surprised.

"That is all?"

"I didn't want you to ask me about some of the stuff that I said; I was in the moment, and I wasn't thinking; but there was some stuff that I realized that I can't talk about with anyone yet; not even you."

"You were afraid to talk to me because ot that?" she questioned.

"I'm embarrassed to admit it." he said.

"And you did not think that you could tell me? That I would not understand?" he shrugged.

"I do have some things that I wanted to ask you, and I thought that you would have asked what I meant too. And I really can't explain it; believe me, I'd love to." he wondered if she noticed that his voice wavered a little on the word "love". If she did, she didn't let him know.

"What did I say?" she asked, worried that she had offended him.

"I was complaining about my family trying to annoy us. And you got this really weird look on your face and said that that was what family is. I never asked you what you meant by that." Teyla didn't say anything for a minute. She wasn't sure how to explain it; it wasn't something that you could just spout off without thinking.

"You do not always have to like your family; but there is a difference between like and love. Your family did not like some of the decisions that you made; but they love you regardless. And you were confused about what they felt towards you." John sensed a story behind her words; or at least she had experianced something to do with this.

"Who did you learn this lesson with?"

"My grandfather," she said softly. He could hear in her voice that there were still painful memories around this for her; and so he changed the subject in an effort to make her more comfortable.

"I'm sorry that I've been avoiding you," he said. "I didn't mean to hurt you." she smiled a little.

"It's alright, John. I forgive you." she leaned against the cold glass of the window, and stared out at the ocean. Her fingers went almost unconsciously to her necklace.

"I never thanked you," she said eventually, "for bringing me to your world, for sharing it with me."

"You're welcome," he said, mentally sighing in relief that the conversation he had dreaded was over, and she hadn't even tried to find out what he'd been worried about telling her. He decided that it was probably better this way, for now. He had an amazing friend in Teyla; and she would be ready to talk when he needed to. For now, that was all that he needed from her.

------------

When Teyla finally went to bed that night, she was exhausted, but mostly satisfied. He was fine, everything would be back to normal now. And most of her was glad for that. But there was a small part of her that wished that there had been something else behind his nervousness and avoidence. She'd had feelings for him for some time; but it wasn't until much more recently that she'd realized the depth of those feelings. And when he'd given her the necklace, she'd thought that maybe he had the same feelings. But from what had happened today it seemed that he was more of a big brother to her than a romantic interest. And while logic told her that it was better like this; that a relationship of that kind would be bad for their team, there was a part of her soul that she'd only felt one other time, that was madly in love with him. The part that wanted him to love her back, that wanted to fight for him and to see him fight for her, was begging to be let out. She felt her conflicting emotions warring within her; she did love their friendship, but she couldn't help but crave something more. She knew that if she'd known him when she first became a leader and her people begged her to choose a husband, it would have been him.

Her soul screamed at her for resigning herself to the fact that despite her hope, he did not share her feelings; but she refused to acknowledge it's demands. She would not force anything on him; if he ever felt like she did then he would come to her. But one thing was for certain; she would be waiting.

Fin.


	3. Valentine

**_February_**

------------

"John, what are you doing?" Teyla asked as he led her through the halls of the city. He had met her just outside of her room, and had blindfolded her and was now leading her around like a child.

"I told you, it's a surprise," he said. She didn't answer, but smiled to herself as she opened up her senses to figure out where they were. She could hear their footsteps echoing in the corridor, but she heard no voices. They were somewhere remote. She inhaled deeply, trying to figure out the scent that filled her nose. She smelled the old air of the corridor, the salty tang of the sea, and something that reminded her of what John called aftershave. But exactly what he was doing remained a mystery to her.

John grinned as he tugged her gently along. He knew that he had just promised himself that he would be content to be friends until she gave him some indication that she wanted otherwise; but this was February 14th; all bets were off today. He wondered briefly if she would appreciate the earth holiday; he hoped that she would. Maybe, if things went well, he could tell her how he felt.

"Just a little further," he informed her, as they rounded a corner. Yes, they were almost there.

------------

Rodney was on his way to Katie Brown's lab with a little boquette of flowers, when he ran into Ronon. He hastily tried to hide the pretty blossoms behind his back in hopes that his friend would just keep walking. But Ronon stopped, eyebrows raised, and looked pointedly at him.

"Those for Katie?" he asked. Rodney hesitated for a moment, but realized that it would do no good for him to lie about it.

"Yes.," he informed him. "Yes they are."

"Why today?" Ronon's question caught him off-guard.

"What do you mean, why today?"

"Seems like everyone is trying to give people flowers or presents- or kisses- today; what makes this particular day so special?"

"It's Valentines Day," Ronon's blank expression remained in place. "Oh, gosh, you don't even have Valentines Day in Pegasus?"

"What is it?" he persisted.

"It's supposed to celebrate love," McKay tried to keep his explanation brief; he REALLY wanted to see Katie. "It was named after some guy way back when who tried to keep Caeser from aboloshing marriage; or something to that effect."

"Who?" McKay groaned.

"Go find someone else to bother," he snapped, and stalked away down the hall. Ronon watched him, confused. Sometimes, earth people were really weird.

------------

"Alright, we're here." Teyla stood patiently as John removed her blindfold with clumsy fingers. He pulled her hair a little bit, but she didn't say anything; he was trying so hard to be gentle.

When he finally took the cloth away from her eyes, they were on a familiar pier; one that kept them connected to the city but that people rarely visited.

"Okay, maybe it's not much of a surprise; but I just wanted to be alone with you. We don't get a lot of time to just talk." Okay, there was definately something going on. The John Sheppard that she knew did not "just talk"; he had something specific in mind. But it was not something that she did not welcome; so they sat down on the edge of the pier, watching the water lap at the feet of the city, and allowed contented silence to reign for a moment. It was never an awkward silence between them; they both knew that they didn't need any words for the other; that to be together was enough. They enjoyed the solitude and the quiet, glad that there was nothing to ruin their peaceful day.

"You're wearing the necklace," John noticed suddenly, recognizing his Christmas gift to her. She reached up to touch it; she had forgotten that she was wearing it. She rarely wore jewelry, she had tended to save it for special days among her people; but this necklace had become so natural to her that she always forgot that she was wearing it.

"Of course," she said softly. "It's beautiful." She didn't say that it was a gift from him, of course she wore it; she didn't say that it reminded her of how he had shared his heart with her during that brief trip to earth; she didn't tell him that it was a constant reminder of how much she loved him and wished that he loved her back.

"I wish I had something else to give you for today," he said. Teyla's brow creased in confusion.

"Today?" he realized that in the time that he'd known her, he'd never told her about Valentines Day. Not that he really knew the story; but he knew that it was a day of love. And that would have been the only explanation that he would have needed to give her.

"Yeah, today's this holiday called-" but his explanation went unfinised. From somewhere in the city, there was an explosion.

The both of them instantly started to their feet.

"Was it Rodney?" Teyla wondered.

"No, he took the day off to spend with Katie," Sheppard recalled, turning on his radio. "This is Sheppard, anybody know what that was?" there was a moment of silence, which scared them both. Sheppard was just about to try again when Elizabeth's voice came on the radio.

"John, where are you?"

"I'm on the east pier; what the heck was that?"

"We're not sure yet; but it came from the other side of the city; someplace that we haven't explored yet." John felt a small amount of relief.

"So no one was hurt?"

"As far as we know; but I'd like your team to check it out. Ronon radioed; he's already on his way."

"Well call him back and tell him to wait for us; Teyla's with me, we'll be right there."

"Okay."

"What happened?" Teyla asked as John set a rapid pace back to the transporter.

"There was an explosion on the other side of the city; Elizabeth wants us to check it out." he saw worry in her eyes.

"She said that so far she doesn't think that anyone was hurt." Teyla breahed a small sigh of relief. They reached the transporter, and John touched the button for the gateroom. But as much as this was important, he secretly resented it's interruption of his perfect afternoon. This was supposed to be a day off; they were supposed to be able to have those without something terrible happening; explosions, sudden viruses that put thecity into quarentine, and other things equally as bad. All he wanted was this one day; one day to be alone with the woman he loved. But obviously the city had other ideas.

They reached the gateroom, and Rodney and Elizabeth met them, the former being very upset that his lunch date had been interrupted, even for something important like this.

"Ronon said that he'd wait for you for ten minutes," she told them. "You'd better hurry."

"Will do," Sheppard took the life sense detector that McKay pushed on him- "just in case", he said-and they stepped back into the transporter, and followed Ronon.

They met him in the hall in under five minutes, and since he knew where they were going he led the way from there.

"This is really creepy," McKay said. But it was something that he said so often, that by that point no one even bothered to reply unless they had to.

"This way," Ronon led them down a different hall.

After a few minutes, they began to smell smoke; they were not far from whatever the explosion had been. Almost out of habit McKay turned to Teyla.

"Do you sense anything?"

"We're on the city, Rodney," Sheppard reminded him.

"We've had wraith on the city before," McKay argued. "And what if there was and we didn't know about it?"

"Then we would have been finding bodies a long time before this explosion."

"Shhh," Ronon quieted them. They all paused for a second, listening to the sound of wires sparking fitfully.

"Definately close."

Within a couple more minutes, they had found the room where the explosion had started. Or rather, what was left of it. The doors and walls were half melted, with jagged edges like hot knives left behind from the initial impact that had shattered them. Bits of machines lay around, sparking; but most had been about as melted as the doors. The smoke was heavy in the air now; it burned their lungs and made it hard to see. They could see a few faint glows from fires that had not gone out, but other than that there was very little that could be distinguished through the smoke. Suddenly, they heard a voice.

"Shhh," Sheppard cautioned them, risking one step forward into the room, straining his ears to catch the words.

"Oh my, what have we done now, hm? This is much bigger mess than we thought would happen. And now we have to clean it all up." he frown in confusion. The voice sounded old, but it was speaking like a child talking to himself in a sing-song voice.

"Oh, so much to clean up. We have to remember not to touch anymore crystals like that, don't we?" The team exchanged a look as the voice continued to go on babbling.

"Is he serious?" McKay asked. But his voice was just loud enough to carry into the room.

"Who said that?!" the voice demanded.

"We live here," Sheppard began. "This is our city."

"No, no. This is ours; this is our home now."

"Who are you?"

"This is our home," it repeated. "We just want to be left alone in this home." Sheppard was about to try again when Teyla cut in.

"What was your home before?" she asked. "Before this city?"

"Our home was beautiful," the voice said dreamily. "Always white, and cold enough for us. Then we came here by accident, and we didn't know how to get back. And it is so hot here."

"How did you get here?"

"Through the big ring. Lots used to come and go; but it was always too hot. We always came back, because they never went back to our world."

"What if we could find a way to bing you home?" Sheppard asked, leaning forward a little. He thought that he could see a vague shape through the smoke that still hung heavy in the air. "Would you go?"

"You could take up back to our white world?"

"Yes," he decided to gamble with a promise; even though he had no idea whether this thing's world even still existed.

"Let us get our things, then we will come." McKay's eyes widened with a sudden fear.

"I feel like I'm talking to Gollum," he muttered. "If he says the word "precious"..." Sheppard rolled his eyes.

"This is the Pegasus galaxy, not Middle Earth. There are no hobbits."

"Yeah, there's aliens. He's probably a big one with sharp teeth."

"Doesn't sound dangerous," Ronon commented softly, the first time he had spoken since they'd entered the room.

"I believe he is harmless," Teyla agreed. "I sense no ill intentions from him."

"You can sense him?"

"It is not the same as the wraith," she assured them. "But he has certain qualities to him that make him... easier to define."

"That's interesting," McKay muttered. Just then, a figure appeared out of the smoke, making them all jump.

"We are ready," it said.

Once they recovered from their inital surprise, they took a good look at what they'd been talking to. He looked like an old man, and he was dressed like alomst but not quite like an ancient. Better. He carried a small bag, bulging with things that they couldn't even begin to guess. McKay looked around, almost as if he was expecting to see someone else.

"Is there anyone else?" he asked. The man turned his head to look at McKay.

"We are all that there is."

"Why do you keep saying "we"?" Sheppard asked cautiously. "I only see one of you."

"Of course, of course. We don't like to both show at the same time; and we like it when only one of us talks. But we are both here."

"Right," Sheppard muttered, turning on his radio. "Elizabeth, we found a couple of new friends down here, and we need to bring them home. Mind having a jumper prepped for us?"

"John, what are you talking about?"

"Oh, you'll see when we get up there." he turned to the man. "Do you know the gate... ring address to your world?" he nodded eagerly.

"We do; but we could not make the gate work."

"Well we can," he said. "Come on, this way."

On the way back, the man kept up an animated conversation with himself, making John shake his head. This guy was crazy.

Teyla tried to draw their odd guest out; to find out how he had caused the explosion.

"We found something, we thought it was cold ice. We tried to get it out of the machine, but we broke it instead."

"You were in the explosion?" Ronon questioned. He nodded.

"Then why aren't you dead?" McKay asked.

"Silly humans; they think that we can be killed by fire." that set him off into a fit of giggles and a lot more chatting with himself about what funny creatures they were.

"There is no way that this is really happening," Sheppard muttered to no one in particular. A moment later they arrived in the control room, and were met by Elizabeth, who took the sight of the strange man in stride.

"I'm Dr. Elizabeth Weir," she introduced herself, holding out her hand. The man took it and kissed it.

"We are honored to meet you," he said. When he said "we", she shot a glance past him at Sheppard, who shrugged.

"He thinks there's two of them," he said softly. The man turned around.

"You don't believe us?" he asked.

"No, I believe you," he assured him. "It'd just be easier if I could see both of you."

"You shouldn't lie to us," he cautioned. "We will know."

"Look, do you want to go home or what?"

"We have a jumper standing by in the bay," Elizabeth informed them.

"We don't want to use the dead ships," the man said. "We want to walk through the ring on our own." she sighed.

"Alright. Just give us the address, and we'll dial you out."

"Come with us," he asked. "Come see our world."

"That's really alright..." McKay began.

"They'd be honored," Elizabeth cut in. Sheppard's eyes widened, but her expression told him that she was trying to make a good impression on this guest, trying not to offend someone who might one day have to choose to help or hurt them.

They dialed the gate, and followed the strange man through, with only a second's hesitation; enough time for John to mutter "certifiably nuts". Then they were one the other side, and it was freezing.

They were standing nearly up to their knees in snow, and belatedly realized what the man had meant by "white" and "cold".

"I'm an idiot," Sheppard stated, coming to terms with the idea. "I am an absolute idiot." he was distracted from his self-belittling moment by the old man playing in the snow like he was bout five years old.

"We're home!" he cried. "We're home!" he tossed an armful of the white fluff up in the air. Then he turned to their team.

"Thank you for helping us," he said. "Since you brought us home, we will show both of ourselves to you." A great wave of snow temporarily blinded them, but when they could see again, the old man stood straight and tall and proud; and beside him stood a stately, graceful old woman who despite her age was still quite beautiful.

"We thank you for what you have done for us," she said, her voice powerful. "It will not be forgotten." the man nodded.

"One day we will return the favor." he didn't sound crazy anymore.

The wind blew another curtain of snow between them, and when it cleared, both figures were gone. Sheppard groaned, and rubbed his arms, trying to get some feeling back into them.

"Let's get home," he said.

------------

Three hours and four hot showers later, they all met for dinner, along with Katie Brown and Elizabeth. For Katie's sake, the story of the day was retold, making her laugh.

"I'm glad that you were able to help them," she said, "Even if it did interfer with the holiday."

"I still don't get it," Ronon began, causing McKay to groan as he knew it would.

"Don't get him started," he begged.

"Well then why don't we go see if there's any of that chocolate cake that we were promised for today?" She and Rodney got up and left in search of desert.

"You know," Sheppard said, standing up. "That's not a bad idea." the others all pushed their chairs back, and followed him as he trailed McKay and Katie until they found the much-coveted cake. They all took generous slices, and Ronon made the mistake of trying to make one more joke about not understanding the holiday. Rodney turned to Elizabeth and demanded that she explain it to him, because he couldn't take it anymore. And so Ronon was trapped with her for no less that half an hour as she delved into the history of Valentines Day. Sheppard could see that it was going to be a long and unexciting conversation, so he pulled Teyla gently away on the balcony. It was cooler than most people cared to sit out in at night, so they had all the privacy that one could ask for.

Sheppard went to the edge and leaned on the railing. Teyla copied his stance, and they let the comfortable silence stretch.

"I'm sorry that today turned out the way it did," John said finally, unable to meet here eyes. "I planned it better, I promise."

"Nothing that happenedwas your fault," she assured him.

"Yeah, but I sure didn't want freezing out butts off as part of the agenda." she laughed softly at him.

"You take these things too seriously," she told him. He glanced sideways at her, trying to guess what she was thinking.

"So is this an okay day, even though all that crazy stuff happened?" she looked at him and smiled a little.

"It's perfect," she said.

Fin.


	4. Looking for What Is

_**March** (early March)_

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"So have you asked her out yet?" John looked up at Rodney in surprise. The question was so blunt and sudden, it totally threw him.

"What are you talking about?" McKay's eyes widened.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"No, I don't." he really didn't.

McKay threw up his hands, amazed.

"Teyla!" Sheppard was shocked. So was everyone in the mess hall who heard the scientist call her name.

"Roney!" Sheppard hissed, pulling him down. "What are you trying to do? Make me the center of every rumor that runs around the city for thew next ten years?"

"Well I'm sorry!" Rodney lowered his voice to a more normal tone "It's not like the two of you aren't already. I'm just trying to get tips for the betting pool."

"Wait, people are suddenly betting on this now?"

"Suddenly?"McKay laughed. "It's been going on since she came to the city! Since you, in all your reckless glory, rescued her from that hive And you're telling me that this is the first you've heard of any of this?" In truth, it wasn't; he occasionally heard the Marines or the scientists gossiping, wondering who would make the first move or how long it would take But he'd never taken them seriously. And he definitely hadn't known about the betting...

"So spill; what can I expect?"

"Nothing!" John spluttered, unnerved, "I can't believe you've been betting on this!"

"What? Sheppard, afterall that I've done for you, you won't give me one measly little hint of when you're going to ask her---"

"I'm not!" McKay frowned.  
"Alright, be that way. Fine time for you to develope a conscience about cheating.."

"That's not what I meant." Rodney's frown deepened. as he processed their conversation

"Wait... You're not going to ask her out?"

"Oh, you really are a genius," Sheppard snapped, picking up his tray so that he could find another table--- any other table--- where McKay wasn't.

"But you love her," he said it with such quiet innocence that Sheppard had to sit back down. But he could think of no reply.

"You do," Rodney realized in an unusual moment of perceptiveness. "You love her... You should tell her, you know." John sighed.

"I can't," he said, his voice deep with sadness, "It's not what she wants; I can't ask her to"  
"Are you kidding me?" Rodney demanded. "She's crazy about you! She's just... Teyla. She'll never say anything, not unless she knows that's what you want." Sheppard opened his mouth to protest, but Rodney continued with quiet earnestness.

"You'd risk everything to save her life," he stated. "Why won't you risk a little bit to share it?"

"Since when did you become a philosopher/shrink?"

"Since when are you a wimp?" Sheppard frowned.  
"I'm doing this for her," his tone told McKay to drop it, but the scientist wasn't done yet.

"No, you're doing it fo you. To be safe and comfortable. But even on the off-chance that she doesn't feel the same way, she deserves to know." he paused. "And throw me a tip before you tell her, will you? I've got a lot of money riding on you two."

------------

Teyla and Ronon were sparring in the gym, but after a few minutes he could tell that her heart wasn't in it. Deciding not to push her, he dropped his bantos rods and flopped down on the bench under the window.

"Done already?" she questioned, a hint of concern in her face.

"Nope," he said. "But you are." her forehead crinkled in a confused frown. "You're not paying attention out there, so I figured I'd stop before I hurt you. But you're thinking about him."

"Who?" she asked carefully, already guessing his answer.

"Don't pretend you're not; you're better than that. You're thinkingabout Sheppard." here eyes flickered away for a second, confirming his suspicions.

"Ronon, I---"

"Don't lie," he advised her. "Everyone knows that you two are in love."

"He's not," she replied immediately, leaning against the cool glass of the window and gazinig out at the water.

"No, he is," Ronon said matter-of-factly. "And so are you."

"I..." but she knew that e was right. She sighed. "Everyone knows then, I suppose," he laughed a little.

"Nah, no one thinks that that you do. But they all know what he thinks about you."

"How do you know?" she asked. He shrugged,

"Me and McKay figured it would a while ago; but it's just becasuse we're always with you. We've just been waiting for the two of you to figure it out."

"There is no "us"." she insisted. "He does not wish to be anything more than friends." Ronon shook his head.

"Gosh, you two are blind. Teyla, he's in love with you. Completely. He's just waiting for you to tell him what you want."

"If he wanted me, he would have told me."

"You'd be surprised at how much of a wimp he is when it comes to you" He grinned, marveling that the two of them felt the same way and hid it for the same resons.

"You should tell him how you feel," he encouraged, "You might be surprised at his reaction."

"He will laugh!" she insisted. "What makes you think any different?"

"Do you even notice the way he looks at you?"

"Me?" Ronon rolled his eyes.

"Yes, you. Haven't you been paying attention to anything that's been happening to you two? He took you to earth for his holiday, you met his family; he gave you that," he gestured to the necklace that she was fooling with; John's Christmas present to her. "This is all about the two of you. Tell him." Teyla opened her mouth to protest, but Ronon wouldn't allow it. He took her hands and pulled her to her feet.

"Come on; lets go grab some lunch."

------------

Sheppard and McKay were still arguing when they saw Ronon and Teyla coming towards their table. They instantly shut up, but Rodney gave his friend a pointed look.

"She'll just hit me!" John protested, then looked up and smiled to see Ronon's huge shadow looking over him.

"Hey Ronon, Teyla. Beatuing the stuffing out of each other again, I see. Now what have I told you about that?"

""Better you than me", " Ronon quoted him, sitting on the other side of the table and forcing Teyla to sit next to John. She raised an eyebrow at Ronon, but slid gratefully into the proffered seat as if nothing was wrong. John was laughing, also pretending that everything was fine, not giving a hint about what was going on beneath the surface.

"I remember that now!"

"Word's of wisdom," Teyla teased, easing into their conversation. He bowed his head solomnly.

"Too true," he replied. After the conversation was light and easy, though Ronon and Rodney had kept throwing their teammates pointed looks, which were deliberately ignored.

After a while, John caught himself peeking at Teyla when she wasn't looking. Gosh, she was beautiful. Every feature smooth and graceful and perfect. Oh, how he wished to kiss those sweet, soft lips... but not like last time. Last time had been rough and forced and inappropriate. He'd stolen that kiss from her. What he wanted now was to kiss her and feel her kiss him back. He wished she would love him the way that he loved her.

Suddnely, she glanced at him, and he quickly averted his eyes, embarrassed to be caught staring.

Teyla looked over at John, and saw him look away too quickly. It disappointed her; for a second, she thought that she might have seen something in those lovely blue eyes... but she must have imagined it. Out of the corner of her eye, she searched the lines of his face, but he was back to laughing at some joke that Ronon had just madem as if she did not even exist She sighed and stared at her food without eating it, her appetite suddenly gone.

She wished he would love her.

Fin.


	5. The First Day

_Author's Note: This is for **Gater101**, who asked me to update before April :) It's a bit short, and kind of a different style than the rest; but I'm working on a longer one for next month. _

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_**March** (late March)_

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The day that Sheppard came...

_When he first saw Teyla..._

The day that Sheppard came had been one of the most intense in her life. She had found a friend, found a place, lost her home; found herself.

_The first time that he saw Teyla had been the most beautiful moment of his reckless life; the first time since childhood that he had felt any sort of stability; an anchor._

The day that Sheppard came she had been forced to address those things which she hid deep inside her; her darkest secrets. She had come to terms with them since that day.

_The first time that he saw Teyla, he had warred with himself whether to argue with her or try to kiss her._

The day that Sheppard came she was given a chance to fight the wraith better then she ever had before. He had given her a new way to care for her people.

_The first time that he saw Teyla, he was overwhelmed by her strength and her courage; and her loyalty to her people._

The day that Sheppard came she had found hope, for peace and healing, and for love.

_The first time that he saw Teyla, he was instantly captivated by her constant grace, and her absolute beauty, molded by responsibility and knowledge; and both sadness and joy._

The day that Sheppard came she had hidden from everyone that second that she fell into the deep, tender pools of his light eyes, to remain forever captivated by their brilliance.

_The first time that he saw Teyla, he swore to himself that no matter what insanity he went through, nothing in the galaxy was going to keep him from giving everything for her._

The day that Sheppard came, althought she did not tell him, was the day that she found love.

_The first time that he saw Teyla, though he did not admit it, was the first time that he had ever understood angels or love; and he had found both in this woman._


	6. In Memory

_Author's Note: Here you go, finally! The April, special addition chapter has arrived! (with Easter in mind but not playing the part that I'd hoped... playing practically no part, sadly, but the connection in my head) I don't know quite how it fits in with the rest of the chapters so far, but I've had this idea in my head for about two years, and it wouldn't leave me alone._

_Happy Easter! (by the way; I know it's a bit early; but I've been in a couple of performances this week, and more to followl; so it's a good bet that posting will not happen unless a huge brain-storm occurs(which MAY happen). If not, I'll be back after Easter.)_

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**April**

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_In memory of my great grandma; because Easter was hers..._

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Teyla woke up feeling profoundly sad. She felt tired and sick, and there was a heaviness in her chest that made her feel as if her heart was breaking. It took tremendous effort to force her body to stay awake; she desperately wanted to roll over and sleep this strange feeling away. But she managed to drag herself out of bed and get dressed. That was as far as she got before a sudden wave of darkness hit her, and she fell to her knees in pain as she suddenly realized why she felt this way. She gasped as her ghosts attacked her, screaming, accusing, condemning; and she was afraid that she would pass out. A knock on her door, accompanied by it's gentle chime, broke through the haze in her mind.

"Teyla?" it was John's voice.

"John!" she choked, and she saw him come in. But she could see nothing clearly.

John had com to find her when she'd been late for breakfast; but he'd heard odd sounds in her room, and had called to her. Her answer had sounded strange, scared; and suddenly worried he'd rushed in to find her on her knees, clutching a half-opened drawer of her dresser with white-knuckled fingers and looking absolutely terrified.

She didn't seem to be looking at him; it was like she couldn't focus. Suddenly, she began to retch, adn she started vomiting. He ran instantly to her side, his strong hands guiding her to the bathroom where she continued to throw up for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, the sickness subsided, and she sat back on her heels, exhausted.

John wet a towel and lifted her chin, and gently cleaned her face. Then he drew her into his arms and rested his cheek on her head, and tried to warm her cold clammy skin. She sat tensely in his arms, her whole body shaking.

For a long time they just sat there, and she finally began to relax, and her muscles stopped trembling. Only then did John try to speak.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," she whispered, blushing. "I am sorry, that has not happened in a long time." He looked her over with concern.

"Are you sure you're not sic Do you want me to call Dr. Beckett?"

"No, I am fine," she assured him. "It is not that."

"Can you tell me what it was?" he asked gently. She hesitated, but then sighed.

"My ghosts came back to haunt me." she said, confusing him.

"Like, real ghosts?" In this galaxy, he wouldn't be ssurprised. But Teyla shook her head.

"They are only in my head; but they feel very real."

"Are you gonna be okay?" he asked. She nodded slowly.

"I will be." They sat in silence for a while, broken only by her occasional deep breaths, before John gambled with another question.

"Why today?"

"This is the day that my mother died," she explained. "And it is a holiday among my people; it was Charin's favorite holiday." Sheppard remembered the sweet old Athosian woman who reminded him of his grandmother; and that she had died a few months back. But deep in a different crisis and trying to save the city, he'd neer gotten a chance to say goodbye, let alone comfort his team-mate.

"I'm sorry," he said, hugging her gently.

"Charin used to do everything for today," Teyla murmured, the loss of her friend much more raw than the loss of her mother, "That me and Halling need to do now. She told the stories, she would perform the ceremony that Halling and I must... I feel like such a _child_, crying about this!" she laughed bitterly at herself. "But she was _always there_: I never imagined what it would be like when she was gone." she turned her head into his chest and wept.

John held er, not sure what else to do. He knew that he was no good with words; knowing his luck, he'd just make it worse. So instead, he tried to let his actions speak his love, figuring that it would be far more effective. He rocked her gently and stroked her hair, being as soft and gentle as possible.

Eventually, Teyla straightened, and attempted to dry her tears.

"I need to go over to the mainland, soon" she said. "They expect me, they need me..."

"Don't they care about what _you _need?" she sighed, ans set her jaw.

"I need to do this."

"Teyla, they shouldn't be making you do this if it makes you miserable. It's not fair of your people-"

"They gave me the choice to do it or not," she told him. "And I chose to go. I need to do this, for both of them. This is the last way that I can honor Charin." John knew that no matter how she felt, she was going to do it, too. He searched his mind fot something that he could do; he couldn't stand to see her so upset and not be able to do anything.

"I'll come with you!" he blurted. Teyla's eyes softened. "I'll come with you," he repeated, "for as long as you need me." Teylalooked at him with big, earnest eyes.

"Thank you, John," she whispered.

"Anytime," he assured her. He looked around for a clock. "Do you know what time you need to be over there? Teyla glanced into her room, which had gotten lighterin the past couple of minutes as the sun started to rise.

"Soon," she asaid simply.

"Okay, so meet me in the jumper bay in... ten minutes?" he must have guessed close enough to "soon", because she nodded.

"Ten minutes," she agreed. John helped her to her feet, and went to go prep the jumper and inform Elizabeth of his plans.

Ten minutes later, Teyla was at the jumper. John stepped down the ramp, and noticed that she had changed; and there was now no evidence of what he had witnessed that morning on her face now.

"You ready to go?" she nodded.

"Yes."

For a while they were quiet, as John set them ona course towards the mainland.

"So, tell me about this holiday," he asked eventually. Teyla shrugged.

"One of Charin's anscestors, Laelee was taken; and she escaped, and helped many others to escape the wraith as well. We celebrate her return."

"Return?"

"Yes, she came back a year later with over fifty refugees, and one who claimed to be a runner. They eventually married."

"That's pretty cool," John said. "So what kind of ceremony is it?"

"It is difficult to explain," she dodged. "But much of it is sung. Years ago, Charin and my grandfather used to do it..." he saw her eyes get misty with the memories.

"Is there anything that you need me to do?" he questioned, wanting to be able to do more than just be there. Teyla shook her head, though.

"It is enough that you will be there," she assured him, before sinking into silence again and fooling with her necklace. In spite of everything, that necklace still made John smile. He didn't know why it always surprised him when she wore it; because she always did, and he figured that he shouldn't be shocked anymore. But it meant more to him than he had ever admitted; because of what it actually did mean, regardless of whether or not she knew what that was. He still did.

"The best in me," he murmured to himself, hiding his smile at the memory. Yes, everything good in him came out when she was there. He couldn't imagine going back to earth and leaving her behind.

He snapped abruptly out of his reverie as the mainland came into view.

"Almost there, he announced, breaking Teyla out of her thoughts as well. She took a deep, steadying breath, and John was briefly concerbed that she really wasn't okay. But he remembered their earlier conversation; and while she looked exhausted, she was determined; and he was sure that she would do it even if she were dying. She had to go through with this.

When they landed, several of her people whisked her away for last minute preparations or something, and John didn't see her again until right before the ceremony started. She was suddenly right before him, hugging him tightly as if that was the only thing keeping her from falling. Awkwardly, he returned her hug, and finally she looked up at him and smiled shakily.

"Thank you," she whispered. Then she went and joined Halling, who was standing before the crowd of Athosians, who waited patiently in respectful silence for the two to begin the ceremony. And after a moment and another deep breath, she began to sing.

John was instantly captivated by the sound of her voice as the first notes rose into the air. They were high and clear and perfect; he didn't recognize the words that she was singing, buthe doubted that he would have remembered a single one after. What really mattered was the sound of her voice; and he was almost angry when Halling's low, rich voice rose to join hers, taking some of the focus off of her lyrical tones.

He'd known that Teyla could sin; but for all the time that he'd known her he'd never heard her REALLY sing before. He regretted never paying attention before.

Far too soon, that part of the ceremony was over; and time was taken to honor the descendants of each of the refugees that had been rescued, as well as those of the direct line Laelee herself. And there was a smaller, separate ceremony also, to honor Teyla's mother as well. After all of the ceremonies were complete, everyone gathered a large, heavy-laden tables and shared a meal, secretly one of John's favorite Athosian traditions.

"That was amazing," he murmured to Teyla, sliding into a seat next to her at the table. She looked up at him and smiled tiredly.

"Thank you," she said earnestly.

"Why don't you sing for us?" he asked, taking a sip of his drink and making a face at the bitter flavor.

"I do not often have a chance," she said. "And it is not something that I do simply to perform; it has to _mean _something." she took a sip of her own drink, and didn't even blink.

"So how much more of this is there?" he asked. "I mean, how much longer to you have to be here?"

"Until tomorrow."

"Do you want me to stay tonight? Everyone else is coming over to the beach tomorrow morning for one of MY favorite holidays; so I'd be back anyways." she nodded slowly.

"I would like that," she seemed about to continue, but one of her people said something to her, and instantly the vulnerability that she had with him disappeared, and she was once again the strong, unshakable leader that she'd always been for her people. John pretended to concentrate on his meal, secretly still watching her. She didn't seem to need him, but he definitely needed to be there.

-----------

The various ceremonies and traditions lasted well past dark, but eventually the children were sent to bed, and all the adults gathered around fires with hot drinks and talked, simply glad to be together with a reason to celebrate.

John stayed close to Teyla, but her people gave her space, knowing that this day in particular had been haard for her. She joined one of the groups by the fires, but they drifted aways slowly until John and Halling were the only ones left with her.

"Are you alright?" Halling asked, kneeling before her and taking her hands. Teyla nodded slowly.

"Yes," the word came out a sigh. John saw Halling look deep into her eyes.

"Aly and Charin have both been honored today," he told her.

"So has Adia," Teyla replied. Halling didn't;t answer, just bowed his head, and she leaned forward until her forehead touched his. After a long moment, the spell was broken, and Halling left, leaving Sheppard and Teyla alone by the fire.

"Who was Aly?" John asked hesitantly.

"My mother."

"Oh," he paused. "And Adia?"

"She was Halling's wife," she explained. "She was killed by a wraith."

"I'm sorry," from the tone of her voice, he could tell that she and Adia had been very good friends. He kicked himself for making her dwell on it, and wished that he could take it back.

Uncharacteristically, Teyla leaned against him, beyond exhaustion. He felt her sigh and relax against him, and soon her slow, even breathing informed him that she was asleep.

"John?" she mumbled sleepily, surprising him for a bout half a second. But he should have known that Teyla didn't sleep that easy.

"Yeah, Teyla?"

"Thank you for all that you've done for me, especially today. I..." she yawned, "...I do not think that I could have done this without you."

"I'll do whatever you need me to do," he promised, not remembering if he'd already said that to her today. He felt her snuggle closer to him, and this time he was sure that she was drifting off again. He waited a few moments, but this time she really was aslep. He was glad; she needed to rest. He hoped that she would feel better tomorrow.

Eventually, he felt his eyelids grow heavy as well, and decided that he should probably find some place to bed down for the night. Gently, he lifted Teyla's sleeping form in his arms, and brought her into her tent. He laid her on the bed and covered her with a soft blanket, tenderly stroking a strand of hair back from her face. Sighing, he turned to go and saw Halling standing in the doorway, watching him carefully.

"I was just leaving-"

"I know," Halling said gravely. "But she needs you here tonight." he glanced sadly past him at their sleeping friend, his forehead lined with concern. A second later he returned his gaze to Sheppard. "As long as you promise not to-"

"What? No, never!" he promised. He would never do anything like Halling was thinking; especially not to Teyla. "I'll sleep across the door." the smallest hint of a smile chased across Halling's face.

"I believe that she will appreciate that." He sounded almost amused, and John couldn'tbegin to guess why. But the man gave him no clue; he merely bowed his head and bid him goodnight, and left the tent. Once he was gone, Sheppard gathered a pillow and a blanket that he hoped Teyla wouldn't mind him using, and laid out across her doorway and was soon fast asleep.

------------

Teyla woke up, and was surprised to find herself in bed; she had no memory of returning to her tent. For a moment she didn't move, but laid there, breathing deeply, feeling more rested than she had in a long time. Judging from the still darkness of her tent, she guessed it to be about four o'clock in the morning.

Gradually, she noticed someone elses soft, deep breathing. She rolled over and looked around, and her eyes settled on a dark shape laying across her doorway. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw a head of messy dark hair, and she smiled when she realized that it was John. He had no idea how comforting his position was; and she doubted that he even realized what it meant to her that he was protecting her now. She loved him so much in that moment, she wanted to tell him... but she let him sleep. He had woken up before her, and had definitely fallen asleep after. He needed to rest just as much as she had; maybe more.

She let him sleep.

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_A/N: This, like many things that I write, went through about five different versions before I settled on this one, with varying degrees of Easter and the Athosian holiday thrown in. But the endings of all the other versions refused to come to me, so I cut it off here. Hopefully, I'll be able to bring out some of the things that I didn't get to in the next couple of chapters._


	7. Anniversary

_Author's Note: This is not what I originally intended for this month, but it was my parents anniversary; and so partially to honor them, I thought I'd do an anniversary-ish chapter. I hope that you enjoy :)_

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**May**

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Sheppard sat back in his chair and smiled. It felt good to rest today; he hadn't had a decent day off with no crisis or anything in so long. Now if only the galaxy would let him enjoy the rest of his day off alone and in peace...

"John?" Okay, maybe not alone. But it was Teyla, so "in peace" was still a viable option.

"Hey," he twisted in his seat to look at her. She had an uncertain smile on her face, and the way she was standing gave him even more of a sense that she was nervous; this was not the normally confident Teyla that he knew.

"May I sit with you?" she asked. He nodded quickly, scooting over so that he could join her on the bench. He'd had it put on one of the balconies specially for him, and he came up here often to be alone. But sitting here with Teyla felt even more right than that.

"Whats up?" he asked her. "Did you enjoy your day off?" she nodded.

"I went over to the mainland today."

"And you didn't ask me to drive you?" he fake-pouted. "I thought that I was _always _the designated driver..."

"It was your day off, too; I did not want to bother you..."

"Trust me, it's never a bother to do anything for you. Just say the word," he gave a dramatic half-bow, and she laughed.

"I will remember that," she promised. Then she sighed, and turned her gaze out towards the water. "How was your day?"

"Not bad. I like my work and everything, but it was nice today just to kick back... play some golf... relax... and we didn't have anything try to blow up the city, either!"

"That would have made it difficult to relax, yes."

"Altogether it wasn't too bad," he finished, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. She seemed to have something on her mind.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently.

"I was just thinking."

"About what?" he encouraged.

"Us," the way that she said it surprised him, and he turned to face her fully.

"Us?" he repeated, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"Yes. I have been thinking back to the beginning, when you first came here, and how things have changed since then..."

"Yeah?" He definitely was hopeful now. Was she saying that she loved him?

"It was exactly two years ago that you came," she said softly. "Two crazy, heart-rending, _incredible _years."

"Would you give it up?" John asked, deflated now that he knew that this wasn't an outright confession of love. But maybe there was hope...

"No," Teyla answered slowly. "In spite of all that I have given up, all that I have lost, I would not change it. This is where I am meant to be."

"I'm glad that you feel that way," John said, delflating a little bit more. Okay, so maybe not love. Mutual affection? Maybe?

"Here," she said suddenly, pressing something into his hand. He opened it to reveal a small, deadly sharp knife in a leather sheath, with dark, intricate designs burned into the wooden handle and engraved as with the thinnest needle on the blade.

"Thanks," he said, examining it with interest. "What's this for?"

"For this... anniversary. You have done so much for my people, and for me... The day that you came you found my necklace, and when you took me to earth you gave me this one," she lifted the red glass heart briefly off of her neck. "I wanted to give you something, to thank you for what you've done and what you've given me. I know that it is not enough..." he cupped her cheek with his hand, and turned her to face him.

"Hey, this is perfect. And you should know that you don't _need _to give me anything to thank you. It's enough that you save--- and kick--- my butt every other day. I'd much rather that you kept doing that than worrying about giving gifts."

"You do not like it?" she asked, worried.

"No, I do; but that's not the point. I want you to know that you don't _need _to do anything special for me to thank me; it's enough that you're here," he paused. "Though I definitely won't turn away gifts, especially such cool ones. This would make even Ronon jealous."

"It was my fathers," she said softly. "But I believe that he would have liked you to have it." They sat there for another moment, quiet; and then Teyla stood up.

"Goodnight, John," she whisperd. He jumped to his feet and took her shoulders, and bowed his head to touch hers.

"Goodnight, Teyla." She smiled, and tilted her head up just a little, and brushed a feather-light kiss across his cheek--- his _lips_?!--- then gently pulled herself out of his arms and walked away, leaving John on the balcony wondering if he had just dreamed it.

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_Author's Note: I hope that wasn't too fluffy, silly, or short. The next chapter will be longer, I promise. Please review!_


	8. Brotherly Love

_Author's Note: Aha! THIS is the chapter that I couldn't finish for May (which stunk, because it kind of has to do with something that happened in the April chapter...) because I had a terrible case of writers block regarding this story :P. So I bring it to you now, in June, please don't hate me for not being able to finish it last month..._

_And thank you, by the way, to everyone wo has reviewed so far;_ **jtjaforever**_,_ **bsctjclb**_,_ **Gater101**_,_ **dispatcher652**_,_ **Linyke**_,_ **APFW**_, _**Lone-ranger1**_,_ **Grannanatlanta**_, and_ **Mechia132**_.  
And thank you to _**Alydia Rackham**_, who didn't _review _this fic, but helped me with some of the important details in this chapter...._

_(oh, the italicized bit at the beginning is from the April chapter; the part that is truly relevant to this one...)_

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**June**

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_...he turned to go and saw Halling standing in the doorway, watching him carefully._

_"I was just leaving-"_

_"I know," Halling said gravely. "But she needs you here tonight." he glanced sadly past him at their sleeping friend, his forehead lined with concern. A second later he returned his gaze to Sheppard. "As long as you promise not to-"_

_"What? No, never!" he promised. He would never do anything like Halling was thinking; especially not to Teyla. "I'll sleep across the door." the smallest hint of a smile chased across Halling's face._

_"I believe that she will appreciate that." He sounded almost amused, and John couldn't begin to guess why. But the man gave him no clue; he merely bowed his head and bid him goodnight, and left the tent._

_-----------_

It had been one of the hardest days of John Sheppard's life. He hated to say it--- because as long as Teyla was happy, it should have been enough--- but seeing her happy _with someone else_that was killing him.

The day had started off normal enough; they'd gone on a routine mission to a new world; and the second that they'd stepped through the gate everyone reacted exactly as they should have,

McKay had taken only a second to pause and cautiously sniff the planet's air before spouting off his habitual litany of complaints that he seemed certain the team could not live without. Ronon--- as his runner's instincts demanded--- was on instant alert, wary of danger. And Teyla had paused and looked around, studying everything with a balanced mixture of caution and anticipation. He appreciated her perspective.

"Alright!" Sheppard cut McKay off. "The database didn't have a whole lot of information on this planet; but it said that the people are kinda skittish. So we're gonna be nice and calm and easy, alright?"

"Oh, nice and calm is my middle name!" Rodney said. John rolled his eyes.

"Just let me or Teyla do the talking, okay?" The insulted scientist immediately started to grumble, but John saw Teyla flash him an appreciative smile his way. He returned it, knowing that she liked that he trusted her; and that she secretly enjoyed saving him from making too much of a fool out of himself. He loved that about her. Come to think of it, he loved everything about her.

He looked away before she could catch the look in his eyes. Yes they were friends, and they may have shared a kiss or two; but he knew that she didn't _love _him. They were friends, and would always remain simply friends. Best friends. but never anything more. He sighed, but started walking as if nothing was wrong; as if his heart wasn't breaking.

"You really should just tell her," Ronon murmured, coming up beside him. Sheppard frowned at him.

"Shut up!" he grumbled, stealing a quick glance at Teyla to make sure that she hadn't heard. But she was listening to something that McKay was saying, and didn't seem to have noticed.

"Seriously? What's so hard about three little words?" Sheppard fixed his eyes ahead, refusing to look at the Satedan.

"For one, even if you _know _that the feeling is mutual, those three little words are _al_ways the hardest ones to say. And also, this is..." he refused to look at her. "...you know who we're talking about. She's... herself, she's sweet, she's beautiful, she's..."

"Perfect?" Ronon supplied the word.

"Basically, yeah. And you don't just go and _say _that to a perfect person offhand like you want me to do. Besides, she'll feel bad and say what I want to hear, just so that I won't be upset."

"Have I ever told you how much of an idiot you are?" Ronon questioned.

"With increasing regularity." John shuddered. "Seriously, tell me what I have to do to get you off my case; get you pizza... beer... a thousand dead wraith?" Ronon didn't laugh, though he clearly wanted to.

"You either tell her..."

"Yeah, not happening."

"....or fight better." and a hand flew towards his head. He barely ducked out of the way in time.

"Knock it off!" he snapped. "What if we found a bunch of wraith and you were too busy whacking _me _to kill them?"

"Then your girlfriend would save us," Ronon muttered playfully.

"Ronon!" John wasn't in the mood for his friend's irritatingly persistent teasing.

"Now, boys..." Teyla cut in, John's raised voice giving her a reason to gently silence McKay's complaints. "Play nice."

"Oh, yes mother." John snapped crankily, instantly regretting taking his anger out on her. She raised an eyebrowat him.

"John..."

"Sorry. But don't yell at me; he started it!"

She turned to Ronon.

"Don't antagonize him, please. Our mission would pay for it now, and _you _will pay for it later."

"I'm sorry, mother," he mocked Sheppard's earlier comment, not looking sorry at all. But something in her eyes made him get serious again. Once he wiped that evil smirk off his face, Teyla turned to sedate McKay again. But her distraction only allowed Ronon to grin again and mouth something at Sheppard that he didn't bother to try and understand. Ignoring the Satedan, he focused his eyes ahead and thought that this was exactly how he knew that Teyla _didn't _love him the way that he loved her; she acted like their mother.

It wasn't long before they reached the village, which fit the description in the database perfectly. The people were shy and skittish, but curious, trailing after the team like lost puppies.

Eventually, one of the bolder villagers--- who couldn't have been much older than twenty--- stepped up to them. Sheppard gave the teen what he hoped was a comforting, non-threatening smile.

"Hi," he said. To his surprise, the kid started to spout off what sounded like a lot of gibberish.

"What?" And the gibberish was repeated, no less understandable tan the first time.

"Teyla..." John began, turning in her direction to find her gone. He groaned.

"Where did she go?" he asked, not directing his question at anyone in particular.

"That way," Ronon gestured to their right. "Talking to... that guy." Sheppard followed his friend's pointing finger and saw Teyla, her forehead pressed to that of a tall and admittedly attractive--- by what John knew of women's standards--- man, and her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Her back was almost completely turned to them, so he couldn't see her face; but something told him that she was crying.

He burned with jealousy.

"Excuse us for a minute..." he muttered to the confused teen, before heading towards his wayward team-mate. As he got closer, he heard her quite voice even above the noise of the crowd.

"...I can't believe it's really you..." Really who? Who WAS this guy that was hugging and holding the woman that _he _loved as if there was no one else in the world?

"Want to introduce us?" he questioned, with the minimum amount of respect required for speaking to Teyla. She jerked around, running a hand quickly under her eyes to hide the wetness. Yup. Definitely crying. Who was this guy that she loved him enough for the mere sight of him to make her cry? John's anger grew. She had never cried for him before.

"I'm sorry. Tayzon, this is my team..." she pointed to each of them as she said their names. Then she introduced them to her friend. "This is Tayzon Anachi."

"Hi," McKay said distrately. Ronon just grunted, but seemed to approve of her closeness tothe man.

"Pleasure," John lied; this was anything but. Teyla raised an eyebrow a his tone, but chose to ignore it.

"Tayzon is a very dear friend of mine," she explained to them. "But he was taken many years ago. I did not know that he had survived."

"I almost didn't," he admitted. "I would not have, of I had not intrigued the queen enough for her to let me live."

"How?" Ronon asked, interested.

"She found me... similar? to her people."

"How?" John asked, biting ff a comment about being an absolute low-life for abandoning his people. And he only managed to do that for Teyla's sake.

"He has my gift," Teyla explained, running her hand gently up the man's arm without seeming to realize it. "And I think that he learned to use it before I did. He used to hear the wraith speak." John's mind barely registered that; all he could focus on was her physical closeness to Tayzon.

"I was able to tell the queen everyting that her followers were thinking; and it made me unusual and useful as a spy against them, and especially against other hives. It was enough of a reason for her to keep me alive until I could escape."

"So what does that make you; a wraith worshipper?" John asked. This time Teyla's look could have killed him; but Tayzon seemed mildly annoyed, at the most.

"I pretended what I had to in order to survive; but I swear that I do not work for them now." He noticed Teyla's rage, and put a soothing hand on her arm. "It's alright, Shona. I would worry as well." She relaxed somewhat, but John had a feeling that it was merely so that she wouldn't make a scene in the middle of the village square. He was certain that he would hear about this later.

"When you _did _escape--- which I want to know how you did, by the way---why didn't you go back to Athos?" Tayzon smiled sadly at Rodney's question.

"I did," he said. "But all that I found was evidence of a culling."

"Ah." Rodney didn't say anything else; he knew as well as anyone else that John had caused the culling.

Things all went downhill from there. John had somehow been conned into bringing Tayzon back to Atlantis, and later to the mainland. Well, that wasn't completely true. He'd done it because Teyla had asked him to. He couldn't refuse her anything. But he was wishing that he had, because Tayzon was driving him _crazy_.

They'd introduced him to Elizabeth, and he'd given her the same sob story that he'd shared on the planet. John was sick of it. Elizabeth may have bough it, but he didn't. There was definitely something wrong about that guy. The way he kept looking at Teyla, their... _physical _closeness. Every time that they were near enough, she was in his arms, or he had his hand on her arm, or something.

Yes, he was jealous, he admitted. But it was righteous jealousy; he didn't want Teyla to end up with this guy who had abandoned her years ago. And it bothered him that she was welcoming him back with opened arms so quickly.

Tayzon had been given a full security and medical check, and soon after they had left for the mainland, where Sheppard had spent hours being ignored as the Athosians welcomed back their long lost kinsman. He wanted to throw up.

In honor of Tayzon's return, a feast had been prepared, but John barely tasted any of it. He couldn't take his eyes off of Teyla... who couldn't take her eyes off of Tayzon. He hated it.

Things had continued in much the same fashion for most of the night. But it was late now, and some of the Athosians were finally starting to drift off to bed. Sheppard. And Ronon and Rodney--- who had all gotten permission to stay the night--- were sitting alone by a fire, the Satedan and the scientist driving each other crazy. John was staring sulkily off towards a different fire; were Teyla sat with Tayzon and Halling, deep in conversation.

He saw them glance in his direction once, and a question seemed to pass between the three, before they looked away again. John bit back a moan.

"Hey," Ronon shoved him off-balance, diverting his attention. "You can at least pretend that you're happy for her." John frowned at him darkly.

"Aren't you the one who's always telling me that I'm in love with her?" he asked crankily. "Why would I be happy to see her with another guy?" Ronon's eyes widened.

"Are you serious?" he started to laugh; a sound that they rarely heard from him, which made it that much more infuriating.

"What?" John snapped. Ronon just shook his head and laughed some more.

"I'm gonna let you figure this one out on your own, Sheppard." Still laughing, he got up and walked away in search of a late-night snack.

After a moment, Johnn realized that Rodney was sitting there, staring at him.

"What?"

"Is that seriously what you're upset about; you're worried that Tayzon is going to steal her from you?"

"Wouldn't you be?" It was a lame defense and he knew it. But he was running out of good ones.

"He can't steal her from you if you haven't claimed her," McKay informed him. "And you _haven't_. She has _no idea _that you love her."

"Oh, so the insightful McKay returns!" he spat sarcastically. "Why is it that you only get that way when you want me to do something stupid?" Rodney frowned, insulted.

"The only _stupid _thing that you could do would be to do nothing," he informed him, before heading after Ronon and leaving John alone by the fire.

------------

The next morning dawned bright and warm, but John was unable to enjoy it. For one thing, _he _was still there. And that aside, Halling had put him to work.

He had agreed because he'd thought that it would get him away from Tayzon. No such luck. For once, he and Teyla were not joined at the hip; instead, the man had the nerve to follow him around! John threw himself into the tasks that he'd been given, hoping to distract himself from Tayzon's presence. It didn't work.

Around four o'clock in the afternoon, something snapped. It may have been the lack of Teyla's presence to make him behave, or it may have just been the heat of the day. But regardless of the reason, he lost control.

"What are you trying to do to me?" he demanded, dropping the tool that he'd been trying to fix and whirling on Tayzon. "And not just the whole following me around thing, either--- which is incredibly annoying, by the way--- but what are you trying to do to Teyla?!" Tayzon looked shocked.

"Excuse me?"

"You're practically throwing yourself at her; you're trying to take her away from us. But where have you been for the past few years, huh? You couldn't have survived on the hive for that long!"

"I tried-"

"And regardless of where you _have _been, the point is that Teyla deserves better than someone who deserted her." As with Ronon the night before, Tayzon's eyes opened wide, and he laughed disbelievingly. Unlike Ronon, it was clear that he did not find any of this funny.

"That's what you think.. didn't she tell you _anything_?!" Sheppard was confused, but he channeled all that confusion into the desire to hit Tayzon as hard as he could. He watched with satisfaction as the man reeled back. But a cry shattered his victory.

"JOHN!" he cringed; she had seen what he'd done. He was dead.

To his surprise, she stormed past him and over to Tayzon, wrapping her arms around him and comforting HIM, the impostor! And somehow her total disregard for John standing there just made everything worse.

"What, you can't even get mad at me now?" she ignored his rant, so he continued as she herded Tayzon back towards the settlement. "What are you going to do now? Tale him back to your tent for a couple of hours like you did last night?" Teyla's head whipped around. "Comfort your boyfriend a little 'cuz he can't take a hit?!"

"How _dare _you even suggest-"

"Don't tell me that I'm wrong; I saw you take him into your tent last night!" Teyla's eyes were flaming with rage.

"You really have no idea who he even is, do you?"

"Bunkmate?" he bit out sarcastically, never even seeing her punches coming. In an instant, he was doubled over and tasting blood from a split lip.

"If you _ever _speak that way again..." but she was too angry to even finish. She turned away and returned with Tayzon to the settlement, leaving John alone. He watched until they were out of sight, then stormed through the village to the jumper. He refused to say a word to anyone, or even find Ronon and Rodney. He closed the hatch and relaxed in the pilot's seat. Not until the mainland was well out of sight did he radio Atlantis to send a jumper for the two.

"What about Teyla?" Elizabeth asked.

"I don't care if she comes back or not!" he told her. "As long as Tayzon isn't with her."

He reached the city in record time, parked the jumper, and immediately set off at a run towards one of the still deserted parts of the city, unable to be near _anyone _right now.

------------

John watched the sky darken into dusk. He let the cool breeze wash over him and tried not to think. There would be feelings that came with those thoughts, and the last thing he wanted was to feel.

No one bothered him while he was out there. He knew that no one knew what was going on with him, but they had talked to him while he was flying back and they knew that he was in a bad mood. No one wanted to get on his bad side.

He stood there for about an hour in the gathering dark, seething, knowing that no one would disturb him. Which was why he was startled when suddenly he heard _her _voice behind him.

"It is a long way back to the tower," he jumped at her soft voice, but didn't turn around.

"How'd you find me, then?"

"Because I know you, John Sheppard." For a long moment after that, they were silent. He heard her sigh. "You were wrong, John."

"I know!" he shouted. She sucked in a startled gasped, and he softened. "I know," he said again, very quietly. "I never should have said that you were sleeping with him; that's none of my business, you can do what you want-"

"John," she cut him off softly. "Tayzon is not my lover." John blinked, for a moment speechless.

"He's not?" he asked numbly.

"Do you remember how I introduced him?" she asked. He nodded slowly.

"Tayzon Anachi."

"Anachi is not his name," she explained. "It is an Athosian word that means brother." John swallowed hard.

"He's your brother?" he repeated, as suddenly all of the looks and gentle touching made sense as he realized it had not been done inappropriately.

"My cousin," she said. "But as close as a brother. I have much the same relationship with him that I do with Halling. They are my protectors." She paused, and John remembered an Athosian custom that he had heard of where a girl's closest friends were chosen to act like her brothers, if she had none. That must have been what had happened with Tayzon and Halling. He burned with shame to think of what he'd been suggesting. Now he knew why Ronon had been laughing at him.

"Last night," Teyla continued, "he slept at my door; like you did on... Easter. He did nothing wrong."

"I didn't know..." she sighed tiredly.

"So I gathered when you accused him. I had not realized that you did not know who he was to me."

"I'm sorry, Teyla. If I'd known, I never would've..." she nodded, making a soft sound of acknowledgement.

"I know, I forgive you. And I am sorry that I hit you." Finally, he turned around and saw her standing there, dressed in deep red clothes and looking shy and unsure, as if she still didn't know what to make of him. Her dark eyes found his split lip, and she touched it gently with her soft fingertips, forcing herself not to kiss him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered again. He grinned.

"Don't be; I think that the scar will make me look kind of cool." The shadow veiling her features seemed to lift, and she laughed.

"So we are okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," he pulled her into a hug and rested his chin on her head. "I think we'll be alright now."

------------

_A/N: Never fear, this is not the end! After all, they still need to declare their love at SOME point, yeah? Hopefully you will want there wo be many more chapters before I end this fic. Drop me a review and let me know! :D (and be nice, this chapter was kind of weird for me to write)._


	9. Nightmare part one

_Author's Note: I am SO SORRY that I have taken so long with this chapter! *is very sorry* I've been going crazy trying to work on this fic and a bunch of others at the same time; and RL and broken computers have been getting in my way at every turn :P. But to make it up to you, this month I am going to write a _two-part _chapter (otherwise known as "two chapters" ;) lol), so that you have double the J/T you normally have. I have the first bit (this one) finished and ready to go, and the next one should be coming very soon! :D Please review, and thank you SO MUCH to all of you who have reviewed so far; especially the last chapter, because that one made me nervous! _

_Enjoy! :D_

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**July (part one)**

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Teyla ran as hard and as fast as she could, feeling the hot breath of the creatures pursuing her damp againt her neck, driving her forward. She didn't know what they were, and she didn't care to find out; she wanted to get _out_ of there!

Suddenly, something caught her ankle, and she pitched forward, landing hard on the rough dirt. The wind knocked out of her, she remained motionless, frozen in fear, waiting for the long claws and viciously sharp claws of the creatures to sink into her flesh, tearing her apart. But though she _heard_ them doing just that, the pain never came.

Confused, she finally managed to flip herself onto her back, and the sight that greeted her froze her heart all over again. The creatures were attacking, ripping, tearing; but not to her.

Colonel Sheppard was fighting the creatures, keeping them away from her, protecting her. But he was losing, they were going to kill him!

She tried esperately to reach him, but she was slow and sluggish, her limbs unresponsive to her commands, still numb from her fall. She watched helplessly as John finally went down, and the creatures tore him to pieces.

"JOHN!" she screamed, seeing the light leave his eye as he died. A flicker of movement just beyond him distracted her from the gory sight, and she saw a dark, familiar figure, silhouetted just beyond the shadows of the trees, looking for all the world as if it was laughing at her.

Coming awake from the dream, Teyla sat up and drew her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them tightly and trying to make herself as small as possible, shrinking away from the walls of her suddenly very small room, save the door that now seemed many miles away.

She rested her head on her knees, sobing with confusion and terror but shedding no tears; that was not her way.

She sat like that for hours until finally---mercifully---a restless doze claimed her again at sunrise. The chime of her door awakened her, hours later.

------------

John woke up to the sound of someone calling his name. He sat up and listened closely for something more, but the city was silent. He wondered if he'd merely dreamed the voice. But he's heard it clearly in his head as if the crier had been standing right there, and it had sounded like Teyla. And that was something that he could not ignore.

Unable to rest until he made sure that she was okay, he left his room and headed for hers. When he reached her door he paused, frowning. There were sounds trickling sorrowfully through her door into the stillness of the corridor; but they were sounds that he knew. He didn't hear them often, but sometimes when they stayed overnight off-wprld, she would cry in her sleep; something similar to night terrors, though she usually didn't wake up because of them. He'd asked her about it once, after the second or third time that it had happened, hoping that there was something he could do for her. But she had told him very firmly to ignore them, and never to disturb her during them as the results were often... violent. And so as much as he longed to help her, he respected her request, and never tried to ease her pain when they happened.

It was an occasionally inconvenient habit, his inability to disobey her wishes. He'd never gone against them in anything but life or death situations; and he wasn't about to start losing his conscience about it now, unfortunately. So with his heart longing for the woman that he loved, he reluctantly returned to his room, out of hearing range of her sobs. But they still echoed painfully in his eard.

John did not sleep well at night.

-------------

By the next morning John felt slightly better; and he sort of hoped that everything he had heard last night was a dream. But when he entered the mess hall and didn't see her, he knew that it had been real.

"Sheppard!" He looked around until he finally found the source of the voice; Ronon.

"What's up?" he asked, wondering what his friend wanted.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked, faint amusement coloring his voice. "You look terrible." John wasnt' in the mood for his friend's teasing.

"Have you seen Teyla yet today?" he asked. Ronon shook his head slowly.

"No, I don't think so. I thought she'd be with you. Why, haven't you seen her?"

"No. And she almost _always _beats me here." Ronon's face took on a serious expression.

"And you think that there's something wrong?"

"I think we should go check on her?"

"Are you sure you don't want to go alone?" John paused for a second, considering his friend's words. After a second, he shook his head.

"Nah, I don't want to make it awkward for her if there's nothing wrong. At least with you there, I'm not the only one who will look stupid." Ronon shook hid head and followed his friend down the hall. He had made the comment with classic Sheppard carelessness; but not even that could disguise the undertone of worry in his voice. Not that Ronon could blame him; he knew the feeling of being scared for someone you love.

They reached the door to her room in record time, and John passed his hand over the controls, listening to the chime sound faintly within.

A moment of silence brought no further sound from the room, and John and Ronon exchanged a worried look.

"Teyla?" John call hesitantly "It's me and Ronon. Can we come in?" An agonizing moment of silence, and then...

"Come," her voice sounded soft, timid, afraid; but not sick, like it had a couple of months ago when John had come to find her in a similar fashion. He exchanged one final glance with Ronon before waving his hand ver the door controls again, this time causing the door to open.

They went in.

Teyla was sitting curled up on her bed, her knees drawn to her chest and her blankets a mess around her, as if she'd thrown them off in terror.

Cautiously, they approached her bed, almost scared to do so for fear that they would frighten _her_. But Teyla held out one hand towards John, beckoning them closer. They obeyed, and once he was close enough she grabbed his hand and pulled him to sit beside her on the bed, and took his face in her hands. She was holding on a little too tight, and her actions were starting to make him a littlee nervous as she ran her hands over his chest and neck and down his arms, before returning them to his face again. His mind reeled. What was she _doing_?!

Ronon coughed, breaking the silence.

"Uh, Teyla...?" he began awkwardly. His voice seemed to break her out of her odd state, and she jerked her hands back from John like she'd been bitten. While a part of him was relieved, the other part of him instantly regretted losing her touch.

"I'm sorry," she said nervously, curling up again. "I just... I needed to know you were real." John and Ronon shared a brief, confused look while trying to figure out how to respond to that.

"What do you mean?" John asked carefully, after a long pause. Teyla shuffled a little so that she was sitting as far from touching him as possible, as if suddenly realizing just how awkward her actions had been.

"You were dead," she said. He blinked in surprise, but recovered quickly enough.

"Teyla, I'm not dead, look at me." He held up his hands and almost reached out to touch her, then stopped himself. "I'm here, I'm real."

"I know, I..." she sighed. "I just needed to be sure." She glanced a way, a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry, it was wrong, it was silly-"

"Hey, it's fine," John reached out and took hold of her arm. "I just want to be sure you're okay. Are you?" His earnest voice must have reassured her a little.

"I think so," she said. "But ever since that planet three days ago, the one where I sensed something, I..." she shook her head. "I don't know."

What was it that you sensed, have you been able to figure it out yet?" John asked.

"No. It was familiar, but I cannot remember why." She sighed. "But I am alright," she decided. "It was just a dream." John threw Ronon yet another worried glance; something was definitely _not_ right with this. But he couldn't for the life of him figure out quite what. Ronon shrgged his massive shoulders, the Satedan seeming to have no more idea than he. John sighed irritatedly, then turned back to Teyla and spoke in a much gentler voice.

"Do you still want to come on the mission tday?" he asked. "'Cause if you need a day off..."

"No!" her voice was surprisingly sharp, and she realized it and toned it down, though she was still firm when she continued. "I am coming with you."

"Alright." John wasn't sure if her insistence was a good sign or not, but he chose to take it as one, and tried to shake off the worry that plagued him.

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_A/N: Okay, there's the first half. I'm still working on the rest; but I wanted to be able to get at least this to you, because you've all been so patient and waited SO LONG for me to become inspired. I should be done with the rest soon! :D While you're waiting, let me know what you think/want to happen ;)_


	10. Nightmare part two

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Author's Note: Okay, sorry that this is a little later than I had planned; I was out way more than I thought that I was going to be the past couple of days; and this chapter really didn't want to be written. And my computer is broken again, so I've been switching between my brother's and my sister's, trying to get the rest of this done. :P At long last, I give it to you.

Thank you for all of your reviews on part one; here is part two! :D

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July (part two)

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Teyla spent a few more minutes reassuring John and Ronon that she was fine, before they left so that she could get dressed. She took a little bit longer than she _should _have, trying to reassure herself of the same thing that she had just impressed upon her friends; trying to convince herself that she really _was_ alright. What had just happened was not normal; even in the worst of her terrors she had never had such vivid dreams. This was all completely, frighteningly new to her, and she wasn't sure how she was going to deal with it.

When she finally came out, her friends were waiting for her, and she saw them exchange a nervous glance before they headed for the mess hall with her. She did her best to ignore it, and tried desperately to dispel the last lingering fears from her dream by studying John's face He was alive, he was real, he was _there_. So why did she still feel like she had lost him?

The dream and the feelings that it wrought continued to plague her through breakfast and long into the mission.

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__

Walking beside John as close as she dared, Teyla kept stealing looks at him, unable to shake the feeling that there was something very wrong going on. There was definitely something weird about this world; and it was making her nervous.

Ronon stepped up to her on the other side, giving her a meaningful look, misinterpreting her glances at the colonel. She frown at him.

"Hey, time's a-wastin'," he said to her. "Don't let it leave you behind." Teyla was still trying to figure out his cryptic words when the creatures attacked.

John reacted instantly, throwing his body between her and the creatures, acting as a shield for her.

"Go, Teyla!" he shouted hoarsley as the creatures began to tear at his flesh. "Get out of here!"

"John-"

"Go!" he repeated as one of the creatures sank it's teeth into his neck, ending his life instantly. Somewhere in the shadows, someone laughed.

"NO!" Teyla screamed.

"Teyla?" the voice was so soft and gentle that she almost missed it. But then it came again. "Teyla, are you okay?" she forced her eyes opened, and the green forested landscape of the planet faded away to reveal the poorly-lit cafeteria of Atlantis at night. Standing uncertainly a few feet away, dressed in dark clothes, was...

"John?" she whispered timidly, suddenly ashamed of herself. She hadn't been able to sleep that night, even though they had gotten back from their mission so late that most of the city had been asleep. But for fear of her dream, sleep had eluded her, and she had come down to the mess hall for... she didn't know why, but somehow, she'd gotten the idea in her head that coming down here could help. She must have fallen asleep at one of the tables and had that terrible, terrifying dream. It all felt so childish now. And of course it had been _John_ who had found her like that.

"Teyla, are you alright?" he took a tiny step towards her, but seemed hesitant to get any closer to her. _The fit_, she remembered. _He's afraid that I'll hurt him_. That thought saddened her.

"It's alright, Colonel," she said softly. "It's passed, you can come nearer." In truth she _needed _him to come closer; she still couldn't shake the feeling that all of this wasn't real. She needed to feel him alive, needed to _touch_ him.

John listened, turning the chair to her right to face her and sitting down carefully.

"Are you okay?" he asked again. Teyla moved a little so that her hand was just brushing his, taking a deep breath and feeling some relief at the contact. Then she realized that she hadn't answered him.

"I will be," she assured him softly, shifting her gaze away from him. John tilted his head, trying to look into her eyes.

"These are bad; they're getting worse." It wasn't a question. "Teyla, what are you dreaming about?" she shook her head swiftly.

"I can't tell you." How could she tell him that she kept seeing his death? That she was scared that it was visions of the future, and that she was watching the man that she loved die over and over again. How could she tell him that she loved him when he was afraid of her, afraid to get too close. How could she say that when _he didn't love her back?_

"Teyla..." he seemed about to press her, but then seemed to think the better of it and sighed. "You know that I'll always be here for you if you need me." But would he? What if he was really going to die?

"Thank you John," she whispered. His hand moved to cover hers, and a warm tingle traveled up her arm and into her body. She bowed her head so that he couldn't see her face, afraid that he's see right through to everything that she was hiding, and that he'd hate her for it. But the effort of hiding it was too much for her, and she started to cry.

Gingerly, John's arms wrapped around her, and pulled her closer, as carefully as if she were delicate enough to break under his touch.

It was enough for her; she melted into him and let herself cry. And John let her.

At some point, she realized lter, she must have fallen asleep; because she awakened in her own room, alone. She would have believed everything that had happened between them in the mess hall was just another dream, of a different kind, but for the fact that she had a very fuzzy memory of him kissing her; and the fact that her lips still tingled from it. She didn't remember why he had done it or what had led up to it, but the memory stayed with her, comforting her in her fear. She supposed that it could have been another dream as well; but even if it was, it was better than anything else her mind had conjured up lately.

She held tight to that memory, or dream, or whatever it was, and let herself be carried off into sleep, in search of it again.

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Far away, someone watched everything going on with interest. And then he laughed.

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A/N: So there you go. Tiny bit of a cliffie there; but nothing TOO bad, right? *cringes* *apologizes*

I'll be gone for most of this week and most of the next; so no promises as to the August chapter. But I have it partially planned already, so I promise that I'll try to work on it as soon as I can! Until then, I hope you enjoy, and God bless! :D


	11. Rest

_Author's Note: Okay, I apologize in advance for this chapter. I didn't realize when I planned the rest of this story that I would need one more chapter; and when I finally did notice that mistake, I realized that August was the only month that would work. So yeah, if it's awful, I apologize, and if it's good, it's only by the grace of God. Please review and tell me which. I hope that you do like it :)._

_Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far (and been waiting patiently for this chapter to come); I love you guys! :D_

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**August**

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John shifted restlessly, rolling onto his back and staring up at the dappled patterns that the moon had made on the ceiling. He was a light sleeper normally, and the first night on a new planet was always rough for him. But tonight, that was not the only reason that he was worried. And it wasn't as if it was something that he didn't understand; he knew exactly why he was so uneasy.

Teyla.

This was her first time staying off-world since her dreams had begun. He would not have worried unduly about it before that---of course he would be upset; anything that bothered her always upset him---but they had all learned to deal with those previously. But these new ones were getting worse, not better, and he was scared for her. He didn't want her to wake up screaming; and he certainly didn't want the villagers who were putting them up to come in and try to figure out what was wrong, or be frightened by her. So he did the only thing that he could possibly do at that point; he laid there silently and listened to her breathe across the room from him, hoping to notice any changes that might signal the coming of her dreams, so that he could wake her _before_ she started screaming.

He glanced at his watch for the thousandth time that night; two thirty-eight. He had started to keep track of her dreams, what nights and what times that they happened, and he realized that it was far later than normal. Maybe she would actually have a decent night's sleep for once.

"Maybe there's nothing to worry about..." he'd spoken too soon. No sooner had he formed the words of the thought than a great scream tore out of her throat._ Classic_.

Sighing, at least at the point where her screams didn't completely scare the crap out of him anymore, he rolled onto his knees and crawled over to her side. when he reached her he paused, unsure of what to do next. Even with these new and more awful dreams, he had never been able to bring himself to deny her request that he not try to wake her or touch her while she was in this state. He'd wanted to, very many times; but he trusted that she knew best; and she usually woke up almost immediately after, anyways. So he sat agitatedly by her side and listened to her agony, until her eyes flew opened and she reached out to grab fistfuls of his black t-shirt and pull him closer. He always tried to be there for her when she woke up; he'd discovered that touching him seemed to go a good way into dispelling her fears. And that fact gave him the idea that most of her horrible dreams had something to do with him.

As soon as her hands had contact with his chest, he reached out and pulled her closer to him, into the safety and protection of his warm embrace. She shuddered against him, and John was glad that people had the good sense to stay away; he doubted that they would find his attitude very different than an angry mother bear protecting her cubs.

"Another one?" he questioned. She nodded mutely into his chest. John frowned; he couldn't stand to see something that intangible hurting her so. He needed whatever it was to be physical, an enemy; an enemy that he could fight with his hands. He had no idea how to fight a dream.

"Are you sure that you can't tell me what happens in them that's so awful?" he persisted gently. He couldn't help asking; he had to know.

"You die," Teyla said simply.

"What about the how; can you tell me how?" She shook her head firmly no, and John stopped pressing her and gathered her closer into his arms.

"Alright," he said. "It's alright. You don't have to tell me." He sighed. "I wish that there was something that I could do to help you."

"Be there," Teyla said sincerely. "And don't die." John gave a soft laugh, hoping that her screams hadn't woken up Ronon or Rodney.

"I'll do my best with that one," he promised. "But Teyla, you know that I'll always be there for you." He saw her hesitate for a second, and it hurt him. Didn't she believe him that he would never leave her when she needed him? But then, why would she think anything different? She had no idea how much he loved her.

"I know," she said finally, her sobs gradually calming down; and John was slightly relieved. "Thank you." He smiled at her.

"Anytime," he promised. "Now you should at least try to sleep again? Things have been crazy lately, and you've probably had the worst of it. You need to rest."

"I will try," she said sleepily, shifting so that she was leaning on him more comfortably and shutting her eyes. John debated moving her and going back to his own bed, but decided against it. He didn't know why tonight felt different from all of the others like it, but he wanted to be near her tonight; he knew that he had to be. It was the only way that he knew to protect her.

Shifting around so that his back was against the wall, he let her lean on him and tried to rest.

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_A/N: More soon! :D_


	12. Love Passed

_Author's Note: To be honest, I completely forgot about this chapter until like, two days ago, when I realized that September was almost over and I still hadn't updated (sorry for the delay!) Ever since I remembered, I've been writing furiously, trying to be able to get this chapter to you in time... And here it is. As usual, I'm not completely satisfied with it, but I hope that you like it; reviews are ALWAYS welcome :)_

_Thank you so much to all of you who have reviewed already! :D_

_ps. Ana's story is really much longer and more involved than this; so you might see a fic detailing her sometime in the future (though it may not go along with this exact timeline...)_

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**September**

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Teyla stood with her team in the gateroom, waiting for Colonel Caldwell to beam down with their new guest. Apparently she was under military protection, and someone on Earth had decided that she would be that much safer on Atlantis, instead of on her own world or even in her own galaxy. Teyla had no problem with that; nor did she have a problem with her team's assignment to keep the girl safe until she could return home. What was bothering Teyla was the way that John had reacted when he found out who she was.

Elizabeth had been in the middle of explaining the girl's story, why she was coming to Atlantis, when John had stopped her, and asked her the name. Weir had check the file briefly before replying.

"Ana Birch," she said finally.

At the sound of the name, John grew very pale, and they were afraid that he might faint. Teyla found her gaze drawn instantly to meet his, and she noticed absently that his eyes closed off, like he was trying to hide something.

"Is she okay?" he asked finally, forcing himself to look back at Elizabeth. She nodded.

"Yes, she's fine; just a little bit shaken, I think. Apparently they've run out of safe places in Milky Way to keep her, and since our personnel are so selectively chosen, they figure that she can't possibly be any more safe than here."

"Then "they've" got their heads screwed on backwards, if they think that she'll be safe in a galaxy full of wraith." John answered. "But it's Jacob, isn't it?"

"That's what they've told me." John swore quietly, and looked away, retreating into himself.

His reaction to the situation bothered Teyla more than is should have, and more than she cared to admit; though she'd resigned herself to the fact that he thought them "just friends", his actions of late---especially when she had those awful nightmares---had weakened her assurance considerably. But she was apparently wrong; he obviously had feelings for this girl.

That thought cut surprisingly deep.

Teyla pushed the feelings of hurt away; she'd _known _that he didn't love her like she did him; and she knew that she should be happy for him, that he had someone he cared about. Her mind returned bitterly to his reaction to her cousin Tayzon several months ago, but she pushed that away too; this was not like that. If Ana was family, John would have told them about her. This was someone that he _loved_.

That realization made her unspeakably sad. She had been living the past almost-year with little hope---yet still hope---that John loved her. But now the woman that he _did_ love was coming to Atlantis... and she was going to have to protect her.

She would do it, too; it did not lie in her nature to abandon anyone in need of help. But she also knew that she could never really bring herself to like this girl; because she had something that Teyla worked for but had not been able to gain. Bitter regret tightened her throat, and she realized that because of the deeply ingrained traditions and rules of her people, she had told him that she loved him in every way but words; but words would have been all that were needed. And now she would no longer have the chance...

She paid little attention during the rest of the briefing; she caught the important bits, about Ana being hunted by her crazy, rich, abusive father, and being granted military protection; and that they had brought her to every place on Earth and a dozen other planets that they could to protect her, but she'd been found every time until finally all that was left was Atlantis. But other than that, she comprehended little. Her conflicting emotions swirled around inside her in an almost overwhelming tide, threatening to sweep her away. Once the briefing was over she went straight to her room, speaking to no one and trying to prepare herself for the _Daedelus's_ arrival.

Now she stood in the gateroom waiting, John standing as far away from her as possible, waiting for Colonel Caldwell and the new girl to beam down. She didn't bother trying to catch his attention---it was very clear that he didn't want to speak to anyone right now---but she couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from him. She was only startled out of it by Ronon's voice at her side.

"Teyla, he loves you, not this girl," he murmured to her. She sighed tightly and pressed her lips together, searching for a suitable response.

"Thank you for your concern, but you do not need to lie to me," she said. "I am alright." But her voice sounded strained and tired even in her own ears, and inwardly she winced.

"Why do you both have to be so stubborn---?" He trailed of as the blinding sphere of light that was part of the transporter flashed into being in the middle of the room, leaving green and purple blotches in Teyla's vision. When their sight had cleared, two people stood in the middle of the room, a few feet in front of them. One was Colonel Steven Caldwell, and the other was a tall, slender girl with long blond hair and a nervous face.

Of to the side, Teyla heard John suck in a breath, and the girl's eyes flickered towards him, and widened. She let out a small, high-pitched gasp before taking the necessary three steps to reach him and wrapping him tightly in her arms.

Teyla looked away as John awkwardly hugged her back; her suspicions had been confirmed, and she had seen enough. She did not see the angry glare that Ronon shot him over Ana's head.

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After what seemed like a very long time, Ana lifted her face from John's chest and looked at him.

"Hi," she breathed shakily, tears ready to spill from her eyes. John could feel his own eyes stinging with tears that he would never shed. But seeing Ana again after so many years...

"Hey," he said awkwardly, not sure what to say. "It's been a while, huh?" She nodded, leaning her head back against his chest, seeming too overcome to speak. John's eyes traveled over his friends, but the only pair of eyes that he found safe at the moment were Elizabeth's. She must have seen the plea in his eyes, becasue she took pity on him.

"John, why don't you take Ana and show her her quarters? There will be plenty of time later for everything else." He nodded gratefully.

"Yeah, okay..." He gently detached Ana's arms from around himself, and tugged her gently away from the others, in the direction of the transporter. It was only after the doors had closed behind them that he was able to relax at all. He glanced at Ana out of the corner of his eye, trying to gauge what she was feeling.

"You know," she said suddenly, as if sensing his thoughts, "I hated you for a long time after I got those letters."

"Ana, I didn't send those letters..."

"I know that you didn't," she said softly. "Your father admitted what he did last year." He blinked, surprised.

"My _dad_ told you that he wrote the letters?" She nodded.

"He told me that he did it because he was trying to protect you; but he knows that what he did was wrong." John shook his head, amazed. In all the years since his mother had died, he had never _once_ heard his father apologize for anything. And yet for whatever reason, he had gone to Ana and apologized for trying (and succeeding) to break them up.

"So... where does that leave us?" he asked finally, recovering his ability for speech. "I mean, now you know what really happened; do you still hate me, anyways?" Again, Ana was blinking back tears.

"I don't hate you anymore, John. Truth be told, I've missed you; even when I believed that you hated _me_..." she sighed, seeming unsure of herself. "So... this leaves us wherever you want." John swallowed, not sure how to say what he wanted.

"Ann... I don't think that we can go back to the way that things were."

She nodded slowly.

"I didn't think so. But do you think that we can be _better_; like the children that we used to be?" John smiled a little, relieved that Ana was safe and that she had forgiven him and that they could still be friends, in spite of everything that had happened between them...

"I think that I can manage that," he said. "Do you think that you could manage to have dinner with me tonight; catch up now that we've established that I'm not evil and hated anymore?" Ana managed a grin.

"I'd like that," she said, hugging him gently again. He hugged her back, this time not awkward and nervous; and then they stepped out of the elevator, and they made their way to her room.

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_Teyla wandered restlessly through the cold, empty halls of Atlantis at night. She felt almost like she was floating; not really solid, but not intangible, either. The city was dark, and the moon shone through the windows from high above her in the sky, making the halls take on a ghostly, ethereal feel. It matched her perception of herself._

_She found herself suddenly in the gateroom, but that didn't surprise her; neither did the glowing, active gate casting a harsh wavering light over everything. She had asked Elizabeth for a few days away; she didn't think that she could stand those first few days with Ana on the city. So unhesitating, she walked forward on bare feet, ans stepped through the shimmering blue event horizion. _

_She emerged on the other side into a warm, brightly lit forest. She took a deep breath of the clean air, and nearly choked. Another smell had assaulted her, like rotting meat or a feeding chamber on a hive ship. It was the smell of death. _

_Wrinkling her nose at the smell, she started to walk again, to leave the fate and hopefully the death-stench behind. But it only seemed to get stronger the farther she got._

_Just as she was considering turning back, a deep growl pierced the stillness from behind her; and instantly her calm, relaxed mood was gone. She was terrified. _

_The growl came again, and Teyla bolted, running as fast as she could to escape whatever it was. Branches grabbed at her, scratching her face and tearing at her soft pajamas. She felt blood trickling down her face, but she didn't bother to wipe it away. She just pushed on faster, desperate to escape this thing chasing her. Another roar from a second creature---closer than ever now---drove her on. But she no longer felt like she was flying; she was _falling_._

_She hit the ground hard, and the breath was knocked from her body. She gasped desperately and uselessly for air, unable to move her paralyzed limbs and do anything to escape the death that she knew would come._

_But the heat, the blood, the _pain _never came; something else had caught the creature's attention. When she was finally able to draw breath, she managed to flip herself over to see what was going on. A terrible sight greeted her eyes._

_John was _there_, fighting the creatures that had been chasing her, and he was losing! They were going to tear him apart! _

_"John!" She tried to scream his name, but all that came out was a strangled gasp; and it was not enough. He glanced in her direction and saw her, and that second of distraction cost him his life. A creature leaped, sinking its teeth into his neck, ripping out his throat, killing him instantly. _

_"JOHN!" She screamed again, this time loud and strong. She looked wildly around, as if she could find something on that world that could restore his life and undo the terrible sight that she had just seen. Her eye was caught by a dark figure standing in the shadows of the trees, laughing at her..._

Teyla's own shout awakened her, and she forced her eyes to open and see the familiar surroundings of her bedroom. But she still couldn't shake the feeling that there was some truth to her dream, that John was really gone.

Forcing her shaking limbs into action, she climbed out of bed and headed into the hallway, unable to rest until she _knew_ that he was alright.

He was not in his room when she reached it; or if he was, he did not answer. Teyla's heard almost stopped. But then she remembered that it _was _Ana's first night; maybe he had decided to check on her. She headed down a different corridor towards the girl's room, trying in vain to convince herself... she didn't know what. That he was alive, yes; but what he was feeling? She should know better than that by now; she was his best friend, not his love-interest. But a vain part of her searching for him desperately was also hoping that he wouldn't be with Ana; that he wasn't in love with the girl as he had seemed.

Her hoped proved useless, however, when she reached the girl's door and saw him standing before it, Ana in his arms, kissing her.

Teyla choked back a different kind of cry as her world shattered around her. Her former fears flew out the window as her suspicions were proved correct after all, he was in love with the earth-girl. But the certainty of that made things far worse, and gave her no piece of mind.

She stood frozen and breathless for a moment in the shadows of the hall; and when she could watch no more, she turned and ran on silent bare feet back to her room, this feeling worse than a thousand of her dreams.

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John had had dinner with Ana, as promised, trying to help her feel comfortable in this entirely new and unbelievable world that she had been half-willingly thrust into. It had seemed to help a little; by the end of the night, her eyes no longer held that fearful, haunted look that had darkened them when she'd arrived, and that he remembered from the years before that he had known her.

"This was nice," she said softly as they walked back through the darkened, empty halls towards her room. "I'm glad... I mean, I... _thank you_, John."

"For dinner? No problem. Hey, if you stick around, you get to eat it _every night_." Ana did not laugh at his joke. She stopped him in front of her door, and looked into seriously his eyes with her pale blue ones.

"I was not talking about the dinner, John." He squirmed a little under the intensity of her gaze.

"Then what are you talking about?"

"Thank you for still being here for me, even though your heart now belongs to Teyla." John jumped like she'd shot him.

"What are you talking about?" he repeated.

"John, I know you love her. I was only in a room with both of you for five minutes, and I know. And I know that she loves you, too." He shook his head.

"No, she doesn't," he protested. "She's my friend, yeah; my best friend. But she doesn't love me." Ana laughed a little bit, noticing at once that he didn't deny _his_ affections and finding herself surprisingly at peace with that.

"John, if you would just let yourself look at her for a hald a second, you could see that you're wrong. I can see it in her eyes; it's the same why that I used to look at you... and the way that you look at her is how you used to look at me." John sighed, defeated. But he felt horrible that Ana had seen his affections switch.

"Ann, I'm sorry; I _do_ still love you, but..."

"...like you used to when we were kids," she said. "Not like when we were engaged." A soft smile curved her lips. "John, it's alright. We were not right for each other; but you have found someone who _is_right for you, and I am happy for you. Really." Emotion overwhelmed John in an uncharacteristic flood, and he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"_Thank you_," he said sincerely, not trusting himself to say anything else. Ana nodded, and sucked in a breath. When she spoke, her words were hesitant.

"John... this is going to sound silly and hypocritical after everything that we just said, but... can we have one more kiss? For goodbye...?" Very slowly John nodded; and with infinite, tender affection, he leaned down and settled his lips over hers. For a long moment they stood there, their last kiss lingering and sweet and promising friendship, if not love. But it really was a kiss of goodbye.

When John finally lifted his head, Ana smiled a little.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Now for goodness sake, will you go tell that girl that you love her already?"

"Ana, I can't; what it---"

"What if, nothing! This has clearly been killing you for a long time now; probably her, too. And I don't care what _you_ think she'll say, you're going to tell her!" Her voice was low and amused. "Don't let this pass you by, John." He sighed in defeat; apparently playing match-maker was distracting Ana from all of the fear and pain in her life---that admittedly, she had every right to have---and he owed it to her at least to keep it up as long as possible.

...And yeah, he owed it to Teyla, too, after all that she'd done for him.

"Alright, I'll tell her soon," he promised.

"How soon?"

"Ana---"

"Answer me!"

John sighed.

"I'll do it before Thanksgiving."

"John, that's nearly two months away."

"Yeah, I know; but I need time to figure out how I'm gonna say it. It took me nearly a year to figure out how I was going to propose to you." A slight exaggeration, but a necessary one. He needed time; he was scared.

"Alright, by Thanksgiving," Ana said firmly. "I'll hold you to that."

"Wonderful..." Ana laughed and hugged him, seeming once again like the little girl that he had first known and not the frightened woman who had beamed down from Daedelus.

"Sweet dreams, John," she teased, before disappearing into her room and leaving him to walk back through the darkened hallways alone, past Teyla's room and to his own.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts and worries that for the first time in months, he didn't hear the crying from within.

------------

_A/N: I'm so sorry! I'm an awful person, I know! *cringes* When I had originally planned for this chapter, the ending was much different and not so much a cliffie... *hides* But... you'll understood eventually why I did it, I promise! *fears for life until that point* Until then, constructive criticism is a yes, flaming is a no._


	13. Consequence

_Author's Note: Alright, so here is the October chapter; see? I promised that it wouldn't be _too_ long until I got it out to you ;) Um... this chapter should _start_ to explain a bit about the dreams and everything, and for those of you who were wondering, yes, John is goint to _try_ to tell her in this chapter... ;) But we won't go into that here._

_I have to apologize for the second half ofthis chapter, actually. I had it almost written,almost done, and I hadn't saved the last half before I had to go do something; and when I came back, my sister had accidentally turned it offwithout saving it; and so all of that word was lost. So I apologize for *this* ending; it's not nearly as good as it could have been :P. (and that it's late) I hope that you like it anyways, though. Please review, tell me what you think!_

_Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed so far; you're all amazing people! :D _

_ps. Spellcheck isn't working today, and I didn't get a chance to proof-read all of it; any mistakes are mine and will be fixed once I have a chance to run it through some kind of spell-check ;). Thanks for understanding.­­_

------------

**October**

------------

Sheppard watched Teyla nervously out of the corner of his eye as the gate was dialed. It was the first time in nearly three weeks that he had seen her; right after Ana had arrived, she had gone to the mainland to visit her people---and to give him space with his old friend, he realized. He wondered if she really believed that that had been necessary; Ana was his best friend from childhood, and still very much like a sister; but his romantic relationship with her was long over. And as far as he remembered, he hadn't done anything out of the ordinary with her that would suggest a relationship... except for kissing her that one last time. But it had been a kiss of goodbye, not romance... and besides, they had been alone; no one had seen them. He didn't understand where Teyla could have gotten such an idea.

_Unless it's a subtle hint that she _wants_ me to find someone else..._

He kept glancing at her, trying to figure out what was going on behind those pretty eyes; but for her part she ignored him, focusing her attention solely on the ponderously dialing gate.

"Be safe!" Elizabeth called to them as they stepped through the gate.

"Will do!" Sheppard replied, suppressing a shudder at her words. For some reason today, her traditional blessing felt like an omen...

...He hoped that their mission would go smoothly.

------------

The world that they came out on was wet and cold and gray; and the atmosphere added to John's unease.

"I don't like this," he muttered. Rodney turned to look at him in suprise, as if they had just made a monumental connection; Ronon laughed at him and told him to lighten up. But Teyla, contrary to her usual reaction to their banter, was silent, offering no words of reassurance, which bothered John all the more. There was something very, very wrong here.

"Maybe we shouldn't explore _too_ far out here," he said, trying once again to get a reaction from Teyla. She kept them balanced; and if there was anything wrong here, she would be more intune with it than anyone. "I mean, the initial scans didn't show anything interesting or dangerous; maybe this planet really isn't worth anything."

"Nah, not quite true," McKay, of all people, contradicted him. "The initial scans didn't show anything harmful, no; but there _are_ still a lot of unexplained readings that came up; and I'd like to know more about what's going on before we abandon this place, either way." Oh, the one day that he decided to be brave...! "As long as it's something that I can do near the gate, of course. Anything else, a couple of you are going to have to go out there and take more readings for me."

"No, you can get your own darn scans, McKay," Ronon growled. The scientist was preoccupied with whatever he was doing, and he didn't even jump at Ronon's voice anymore.

"Actually, I wasn't thinking you, Ronon. Supposing something happened, I think that you're my best bet for getting out alive. I was thinking more Sheppard and Teyla."

John froze. Yes, he wanted and _needed_ to talk to Teyla; at the very least to see if everything was alright with her. She had been acting weird, lately; and it was more than just the nightmares or Ana. There was something more going on beneath the surface, and it was hurting her. He wanted to know what it was, if there was any way that he could help her.

"Alright, fine," he agreed. Rodney looked shocked that he had so quickly agreed, but had to good sense not to say anything... Or maybe he had the good sense to heed Ronon's warning looks.

"Very well," Teyla nodded tightly, her voice clipped and a little sharp. But Rodney didn't seem interestedin contesting her, either; and so he merely nodded.

"Alright, um... well, there's a weird energy reading coming from that way," he gestured vaguely to the left. "If you kinda just follow it, you'll come up on it. I'll radio you when you get close enough. Don't worry, it's not dangerous."

_Why can't you do it yourself, then?_ John barely bit the words back. It wasn't far, and he would be with Teyla; they could talk and he could keep an eye on her, keep her safe. That was all that mattered...

They walked until they were out of hearing range of the others in silence; and after that, all of John's attempts to start conversation were awkward and ended in failure. For a while he was forced to be content with it; if Teyla needed space, he could understand that. But it was her complete dismissal of his presense that eventually spurred him to act. Something was wrong, something more than the dreams and Ana; and she was avoiding him; and he couldn't deal with that.

"Teyla, what's wrong?" he asked suddenly. She didn't even turn around.

"How far are we, Colonel?" she asked, quickening her pace a bit. The carefully deliberate way that she said his rank hurt him.

"Not that far, but Teyla, it doesn't matter!" He caughet her arm and pulled her around to face them. Teyla glanced down at his hand, and then slowly lifted her eyes to his face.

"Let me go," she whispered. Any man in his right mind would have known to stay away from her by that point; but John ignoredthe danger in her voice and her dark eyes.

"No, not until you tell me what's wrong. You've been avoiding me; and I believe that it was you who explained to me last time how _dangerous_ it is when we do that! We both almost go killed last time. That one was my fault; but at least I'm trying here, now. What the heck are _you_ doing?!" He hadn't thought that it was possible, but Teyla's eyes grew even colder than before.

"Let me go," she repeated. Her words were quieter, but somehow, he realized that this was even more to be feared. He changed his tack.

"Teyla, please talk to me. I want to help you, but I don't know what's wrong. Please, let me help you! I only want to help because I love---" Teyla opened her mouth to cut him off, but instead gasped, a twisted expression marring her pretty features. John was instantly worried; she looked like she was in pain...and terrified.

He grasped her shoulders tightly.

"Teyla? Teyla, what's wrong?!" Her fingers gripped his arms with bruising strength, and she clung to him like a lifeline.

"John, it's happening!" she gasped confusingly. "We have to get---"

"Hey, what's going on with you guys?!" McKay's voice sounded oddly loud over the radio. "I'm picking up a really weird energy reading from where you---Oh my gosh! It's a dart! You need to get out of there now!"

"Working on that, Rodney!" John snapped angrily, tugging Teyla and urging her along with him. But something had come over her, something like John had never seen before. She couldn't move, and she could barely breathe. All of the air that she did take in was expended in frantic, garbled whisperings, about how "they" were coming, and he needed to run; to leave her and get away, they were going to kill him if he stayed. But John had no intention of leaving her, for any reason. He took her and shook her shoulders, fighting back the panic that was threatening to overtake him as well.

"Teyla, snap out of it!" he shouted. "Nothing is going to get either one of us; we're going back to the gate, and we'll get back to the city and be fine. We can't stay here!"

"John, they're going to kill you!" Her eyes were wild, her tone frantic. "They're going to come for me, and they're going to kill you!" He realized that their situation must have reminded her in some way of her dreams; and while at any other time he would have pressed her for details, now was hardly the time or the place. He could already hear the wraith dart screeching closer, and he knew that they were running out of time to get away.

"Hurry and get away, please John! I don't want to watch you die!"

"No one is going to die, Teyla! The only thing that's after us here is a wraith dart; and you need to come with me before it catches us both." He tugged on her again, urging her to run; and her survival instincts seemed to take over, because she followed him, even though she was still gasping out nonsense with every breath. He ignored it---the first time in a long time that he had ignored her---and ran faster. But either the dart had recognized their presence, or they had spent too long arguing; because suddenly it was upon them, running them down.

The one thing that John was grateful for was that it convinced Teyla to run faster.

"How did the wraith find us?!" John panted. If Teyla answered him, he couldn't understand her.

Suddenly, the screeching of the dart was far to close for it to be following them; he looked up to see it right on top of them, the culling beam enveloping Teyla. He stumbled and fell, and watched as the dart ignored him and swept up the woman he loved.

"Teyla!" he choked, trying to regain the breath that had been knocked out of him, watching the dark shriek away and disappear. "NO!" He slapped desperately around for his radio, which he had lost when he fell, and managed to hook it over his ear.

"Ronon, Rodeny, whatever you do, don't try to take down the dart! Teyla's onboard..."

------------

Teyla shuddered and twitched, no longer having any control over her body. She had finally run when John had asked her to, only to be swept up into the culling beam and see him falling into it. Her last conscious thoughts had been guilt; _she_ had brought this on him.

She didin't know where she was now; she was awake, but as of yet she had been unable to open her eyes, and she didn't know why. She heard things going on around her, and she heard and felt the rust of wind and fine grains of dust. She was definitely outside somewhere, not on a hive as she had expected. But there was only one wraith-like presence there, cold and familiar...

"Time to wake up now, Teyla," suddenly, she could open her eyes again. She took in as much as she could at once; she was lying on the ground, John was unconscious beside her, and there was someone else just out of her view. She twisted her neck and strained to see, and nearly choked herself gasping. Suddenly everything that had happened on this world, everything that she had been feeling, all her dreams, made sense.

"Michael!" she hissed angrily, trying to rise. But an invisible force seemed to bind her the ground. She struggled harder, barely giving herself time to wonder what she was fighting against. His mental control? A force field?

MIchael laughed grimly at her.

"I said wake up, Teyla; I did not say that you could rise."

"What have you done to him?!" she demanded, still struggling but focusing on John's still-unconscious body beside her. She had caused him so much trouble already, without ever even telling him. And if Michael had done something to him...

"He is fine, for now," the half-wraith said cryptically. "And he will be...for three more days. That is how long it will take for the poison in him to run its course, and how long you have to go halfway across this planet to find the gate and get help before he dies." Teyla's eyes widened, and her struggles became violent.

"No! Do whatever you want to me, I don't care; but leave him alone!" Michael laughed at her again, and leaned down to brush a few strands of hair away from her cheek.

"Oh, Teyla, my dear, you don't understand yet, do you? This is _my_ world, now." He stood up and backed away, and disappeared. The invisible force that had bound Teyla in place disappeared with him, and she rocketted to her feet, glancing between the place where her enemy had stood just a moment before, and John's ashen, lifeless face. No, this couldn't be the end; this was _not_ how he was going to die!

"Michael!" she screamed his name into the cold gray sky. "I won't accept it, Michael! You said yourself that there is always a way to get what you want. You can't kill him, Michael. I _will _find a way to save him." But she recieved no answer from the emptiness around her.

------------

Sheppard returned to Atlantis under protest; but he was ultimately overruled by Ronon and McKay ganging up on them. He returned to the city seething with anger, glaring death rays at anyone who came into his line of vision.

Elizabeth was unlucky enough to do just that.

"What happened?" She asked them. "Where's Teyla?"

"She got culled!" John burst out. Ronon stepped in front of his livid friend, with a calmer explanation.

"There was a dart on the planet; it picked her up when we were split up. But it didn't go back towards the gate; it went _away_ from it."

"Doesn't meant that it didn't dial out as soon as we left!" Sheppard said, pushing his way past Ronon. "In which case, we will have lost our chance to rescue her, and it will have been _your fault_."

"Hey!" Elizabeth snapped angrily at him. "This is not Ronon's fault." She turned to Rodney. "Do you think that the dart could still be there?"

"Well, judging by its distance from the gate and the general speed of a dart..." he stopped and thought for a second. "Unless there was a hive ship hidden around somewhere on that planet, there's no way that it could have gotten back to the gate. And there wasn't any hive there that I could detect."

"Alright, so they're still there."

"Isn't that what I just said---yes," Rodney sighed. Why did he even bother explaining things?

"Alright, you guys have a mission." John made a sound of dark satisfaction.

"Good. Alright, come on, we're going in on foot."

"On foot?" Elizabeth and Rodney protested as one.

"Yeah. With any luck that dart'll pick _us_ up too; take us right to her."

"John, that's crazy!" Elizabeth cried, following him and Ronon down the stairs back towards the gate. Rodney followed as well, at a distance; he wasn't particularly interested in getting any closer to the insane Colonel than he had to.

"Yeah," Ronon agreed. "Let's do it." Elizabeth let out a muffled shriek of frustration.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're _both_ crazy?!"

"Yeah, it's been rumored," the big Satedan said, grinning darkly at her, then looking past her at McKay. "You comin' or what?"

"I suppose that I don't have a choice, do I?" John turned around to face him, his face a mask of roiling emotions that made him back up a step. He _did_ have the look of someone insane; it was obvious that he was ready to do _anything_ to get her back.

On another day, in another situation, Rodney might have reminded the Colonel that they had all told him to tell her; and that that might have changed events, if even only a little. But at that moment, no such thought even crossed his mind.

"We are going to go out there and get her, and we are going to bring her back," he said. "And I don't care if you come or not; but if you don't, you'd better not be _here_ when we get back." Rodney gulped.

"Alright, I'm coming."

"Good," he turned back towards the gate, which had just finished dialing. "Let's go."

------------

_A/N: Alright, so there it is. *cringes* Sorry for the mega-huge cliffie! *hides* I promise that I'm going to fix all of this! (and I have it mostly written, too; just have to do some editing and it *should* be ready to post in the beginning of November) And you'll get all the answers that you could ever ask for, and the one thing that everyone has been asking for ;). So there's something to look forward to. *peeks out of hiding* Please leave a review so that I know you don't hate me...?_


	14. Fright

_A/N: Alright, see? I promised that November would be soon and I would explain everything! :D Here it is; you finally get to find out exactly what's going on. It's nice and long for you, too ;); and it's been sitting written on my computer for almost two years, waiting to be used. I figured that this was the perfect place ;) And there's definitely a good surprise waiting for you at the end... ^_^_

_Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this story! :D *hugs you all*_

***

**November**

***

Teyla looked at Sheppard's ashen, lifeless face. No, this couldn't be the end; this was _not_ how he was going to die!

"Michael!" she screamed his name into the cold gray sky. "I won't accept it, Michael! You said yourself that there is always a way to get what you want. You can't kill him, Michael. I _will _find a way to save him." But she recieved no answer from the emptiness around her. She smiled to herself, though with no happiness behind it. There was always something. Sheppard himself had taught her that. Even on this bare, lifeless world, there would be a way to save him. After all, Michael had said that the effects of his poison would not be irreversable for three days. That was the time that she had to get the both of them to ther gate on the other side of this world, and bring them both home.

She lifted him gently, and he weighed less in her arms than she had expected or experianced on missions where he was wounded; another blessing. She picked a direction, knowing that it wouldn't matter which way she went because the planet was very small and she was no farther in one way than the other. The barren terrain didn't last long. A couple of miles into her journey, the world became forested. It was still dark and cold, but the clouds refused to pour on them or leave. The wind picked up a bit, and the ground became treacherous with hidden roots and long vines that blocked her path. She breifly debated leaving John and getting Atlantis to send a jumper back for him. But she couldn't do that; she knew that they would never reach him in time.

She didn't rest that night, but continued stubbornly forward, against the wind and the rain that had finally grown tired of hiding in the bowls of the clouds; and the forest that seemed to be against her, tripping her and pushing her back with windblown boughs ever step. Miraculousl,y she made it through the night.

The next night was worse. The storm added sleet and hail to its fury; but she continued on. John' body became increasingly heavy in her arms, contrary to the first day when he had weighed no more than a child. Still she refused to give up. She could tell roughly how far they had come, and she knew that she could make it to the gate in time. But something felt out of place, too. Michael had underestimated her abilities; and he was smarter than that. They'd seen each other in action, and each knew with fair accuracy how far the other could go with something like this. So why had he given her such an easy way? Not that it seemed easy; for someone less perceptive it very well could have seemed overwhelming, and to complete the journey would have been a huge feat indeed. But she was smarter than that; and she knew Michael would never expect her to fall for something so simple as this. He must have planned something else, hidden a trap of some kind not too far from her position.

Careful now of where her path was leading her, Teyla still refused to sacrafice any of her speed. But slowly, the fatigue and exhersion of two days of carrying John through this forest was talking its toll. Her eyes grew as heavy as his body, and her steps became sluggish. But she was determined not to give up so close to the gate. She had only a half day of travel left, and she would not waste it. There would be time enough to rest back home, on Atlantis.

It was strange to her, to suddeny feel that the city was her home. She had never completely accepted it; always there was a lingering longing to go back to Athos, to the forests and the lakes and the hidden places that few others had known of. But for the first time since she left, she had finally realized how much like home the city had really become. And it was only then that she fully came to terms with the fact that Athos was gone. Forever.

She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. Allowing herself those few moments of wandering thoughts had cost her more time than she had realized. She couldn't allow herself to delay anymore. Back on Atlantis, she could rest, and figure things out. But not here.

The trap that she had been anticipating came soon after; but with it came a surprise. As three odd, tiger-like creatures that she remembered so well from her dreams leaped from the bushes, John came alive in her arms. She froze as he met the creatures head on, defending her. It took her a moment to understand what had really happened, and when she did, it took her another minute to really believe it. Somehow, his body had defeated Michael's poison. He was alright! She watched him fight; and she didn't even have a chance to jump in. He was fighting hard; harder than she had ever seen him; harder than Ronon, even. For a moment, everything was okay again. He would be alright, they would go home together; she wouldn't have to be alone anymore. Somehow, this fight would be different.

But that was only for a moment.

Suddenly, one of the creatures leaped straight into his chest, and knocked him to the ground. Its companions all fell on him, and Teyla heard him scream. Unable to bear to watch him die again, she released all her pent-up anger and frustration and hatred that she hadn't been able to expel on Michael on the creatures. As soon as she touched them, they backed off and ran away. For a split-second she decided to go after them, then dismissed the wish to destroy them. Instead, she fell on her knees beside Sheppard, who was breathing raggedly, coughing up blood. Ignoring that, she wrapped her arms around him, her tears mingling with his blood.

"Teyla..." His voice rasped in her ear; but she heard the affection still.

"John, I'm here."

"Teyla, you have to get to the gate." He still had a faint air of command, even in his final moments. "You need to get home, before Michael gets to you again."

"No! I'm not going to leave you here to die. You beat his poison, you can beat this too---"

"Teyla, there's nothing that you can do. You know that I'll never make it three steps, let alone to the gate. But you need to go back, to tell them what happened. To have another chance to defeat Michael..."

"I won't let you go!" The words came out a strangled sob.

"You have to---"

"No!"

"Teyla!" There was as much force in his voice as a dying man could have. But he reached up, and gently touched her cheek, wiping away her tears. But she couldn't stop crying.

"John, I love you!" she whispered, and there was desperation in her voice that betrayed everything she was feeling. He smiled.

"Teyla, I've always loved you. And it's because I love you that you have to go...And when you get back, can you tell everyone goodbye for me?" He paused. "And go to earth, tell my family what happened." Another pause, this time to cough up more blood. "And never forget me."

"Never," she whispered. She was still crying, but there was a determination in her face now.

Suddenly, not quite sure how it happened, their lips met in a kiss. Not forced, and not unwanted. But it was long and pure and they had no idea how long it lasted, but when finally they broke apart, she left, not looking back, knowing that they had just shared their last goodbye. It was odd; she remembered that after all of her dreams, she had cried; but she felt no desire to cry here, now; even though she had just _left_ him to die. There was no time for any last words, not regrets. That kiss had meant more than any number of words could ever express, and no words were needed. Perhaps it was _because _they had kissed?

She went much faster, now that she no longer had her friend's burden to bear. It was growing dark and stormy again when she reached the gate. There were no more tears now; she didn't have time for tears. She was going to honor his last requests of her, that was what she had to focus on, not her sadness, the heaviness of her chest caused by all the tears that she was holding in.

The foliage was very thick around the gate, and she wondered if anyone had come to this world in years to tend it. She could see the DHD only a few meters away from her, covered in vines and tangled thorns. But that would take only moments to clear away; and then she would be able to dial, to get back to the city, to get off this horrible planet where Michael had killed John.

"You made it alone, I see." She jerked halfway around to see Michael. She hadn't sensed him, and she wondered briefly how he had gotten there.

"I am going to kill you for what you did to him," she said, her voice oddly calm even though her body trembled with barely controlled rage. "And when I do you will wish that you never existed."

"I have already wished that, the feeling is nothing new to me. And I am not the one who will die today. John already took care of that. But now I need to take care of you." She laughed at him.

"You can do nothing to me that will hurt me more than his death did. Nor will you have the chance; I am going home." Now it was his turn to laugh.

"You can't. I disabled the gate the day we came; you have no escape." She shook her head. No. There _had_ to be a way; there was always something.

Michael came closer, and she backed away until she reached the DHD. The sharp thorns and broken, dead branches dug into her back, but she had no where else to go. The wind whipped around them as Michael grabbed her arm. She was suddenly unsteady, and her vision began to swim, and she blacked out, limp in Michael's arms.

***

When she awakened, she was in that bare, empty place, with John laying next to her, barely alive, poisoned, with three days to live. She was confused; hadn't this just happened? She sat up slowly, and decided that it was just a dream; her mind showing her one way that things could have worked. But she would not let that dream become real, any more than the rest of her smilar dreams. She would get him back to the gate, and this time they would not be stopped. She _would _save him. This time, she knew exactly what she was dealing with.

The first two days of travel were remarkably similar to her dream; from the storms to the hindrances, it was the same. She wondered if Michael had created the dream, worming his way into her unconscious mind to scare her. And if maybe she could do the same thing to him. But that could wait for another day, after she had saved John.

On the third day, she recognized everything with accute accuracy. This was the place where the creatures had attacked. she had to change her direction, before they could attack.

The thought had barely come to mind when the tirger-likes burst from the shadows of the forest, and Sheppard again awakened to fight them.

"NO!" She tried in vain to enter their battle; the creatures would not let her near. Again, one of them knocked him to the ground, and the others joined it, their repulsive claws tearing into him. She tried again to fight them, and as soon as she touched them they sprinted away, disappearing once again into the shadows of the trees. She went to Sheppard, hearing her voice begging him not to go, to hold on just a little longer.

"Teyla, you've gotta get back, tell the others what happened. Say goodbye for me, okay? And never forget." This time, he kissed her too, then made her go. As she went, she promised herself that the next time she saw Michael, he would die.

When she reached the gate, he was waiting for her again.

"Very good," he said. "You survived it again."

"How did you know what would happen?" she asked, mentally running through everything she remembered around her in the dream, looking for something that she could use as a weapon.

"Why do you expect me to be anything less than omniscient?" he asked, advancing. "This is my world, I can control it as I please. And you cannot escape it." Her hand closed around one of the thorny branches, and ignoring the pain and the blood and they pierced her skin, she whipped it at him as hard as she could, leaving dozens of tiny cuts on his face. He was laughing, but angry now as, the same as the dream, he grabbed her, and she fell into unconsciousness.

***

Sheppard and Ronon and McKay finished suiting up, and dialed the gate again.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Beckett asked. "You almost died getting away."

"There is no way that we're leaving Teyla in Michael's hands again," Sheppard said firmly. He he nodded, marveling yet again at how close their team was, and how willing they were to risk their lives for each other. And from what he knew of Michael, they _would _probably die for her.

"Good luck," he said, as they went through the gate, hoping that his blessing would somehow reach them and be enough.

***

Teyla woke up again in that same, bare place. This time she was angry. What could Michael _possibly _hope to gain from this? She sat up, and gasped when she saw Sheppard next to her again, breathing faintly as the poison ran through his body. Had the second time been a dream too? Some fantasy that Michael had created? But why was he repeating it? What purpose did he have to torture her; why not just kill her and be done with it? If he wanted revenge, then why choose dreams instead of death?

"He wants to see me in pain," she realized slowly. For as long as possible, he would control her suffering, intensifying it each time until there was nothing left of her but that part that was hurting. And when he tired of his little game then he would watch her die, anyways. She strained her mind, trying to break out of this dream he had created to make her suffer. But it all felt very real, and she couldn't find a way out. She stopped trying, the effort exhausting. She was trapped forever in this bizarre fantasy of a crazed wraith.

Suddenly, Sheppard woke up beside her. That was different than either of the twisted dreams so far. Was this real? Or was Michael changing it so that she would think so?

"Is that really you?" she asked him.

"Yeah, it's me. Are you real? Michael kept making up these crazy realities where something really bad would happen to you." Her eyes widened a little. "He did it to you too, didn't he?"

"He kept killing you," she whispered.

"Well I'm not dead now; what do you say we get out of here?" She nodded gratefully. Maybe all her fighting had broken her out of the dreams. "This way," They took the same path that she had before, and in the back of her mind she knew that she shouldn't; that there was something wrong. But she couldn't figure it out.

"There are creatures in these woods," she warned him. He just laughed.

"Nothing we can't handle, right?"

***

John knew immediately that Teyla was on that world. He didn't know how he knew; but he was sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was there. He couldn't explain it.

"How far away?" Ronon asked, a little confused since it was usually him who could tell stuff like that instantly. Sheppard nodded towards the deep, tangled forest in front of them.

"They're that way," he said. "I don't know how far."

"Does anyone know that we're here?" McKay asked nervously.

"I don't know," Sheppard said, feeling slightly helpless. "All I know is that she _is _here."

"Alright, let's go." They had definite misgivings about that creepy forest, but the thought of what Teyla's captors might do to her was enough to make all those fears irrelavent. They started cautiously, as quick as they dared, into the dark, foreboding woods. They were going to find her.

***

Teyla and Sheppard made it farther in to the forest than Teyla had in her dreams, and they decided to rest for the night; something that Teyla had not done in her dreams. She was nervous about it.

"We'll be fine," Sheppard assured her. "We have all the time in the world to make it to the gate." He was right. Since Michael had not really poisoned him they had no time limit; they could take as long as they needed. As uncomfortable as she was with the idea, Teyla agreed to rest.

The next day, they took things a bit, slower, and were about back on track with her progress in her dreams. And that worried her too. Because if things on that world really did follow that same pattern, then those creatures would be at the exact same place they had been in Michael's twisted fantasy. But she didn't share her misgivings with Sheppard. She knew that he would only laugh it off, as he had all her other fears, and tell her that it eas nothing that they couldn't handle. He had been a little different than the Sheppard she had been used to for the past few years. He was constantly cocky; abnormally so, ready to take anything and not care what those things were. She tried to assure herself that it was nothing, just pride for the both of them defeating Michael; but the deepest parts of her knew that there was something very wrong.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked suddenly, breaking her out of her thoughts. She nodded, still a little absent.

"Yes." He laughed at her.

"Are you still afraid of those creatures from you dream?" he asked. She shrugged.

"His deception had to have a real inspiration to grow from," she persisted.

"Teyla, there's nothing out here that we can't handle together," he promised her, hugging her shoulders. "And we _will _get home."

***

McKay groaned as they trudged deeper and deeper into the dense forest. "How far away from the gate are they hiding her?" he complained. By that point Ronon and Sheppard didn't even bother to answer him.

"Is she alone?" Ronon asked Sheppard. He frown for a moment, like he was listening.

"No. Ther's someone with her, and hasn't moved at all since we got here."

"But Teyla's okay, right?" he asked.

"Nothings changed since we got here," Sheppard answered.

"Are we getting close?"

"Yeah. Close." They continued on, knowing that whoever had taken her was almost in their grip. And once they had _him_, Teyla would be okay.

***

The third day that Teyla and Sheppard spent looking for the gate was exactly like her dream. She vividly remembered every step that she had taken; and this was following suit.

"John, I don't want to go any farther today," she said. "Don't laugh at me! If we continue you are going to die."

"Teyla, I'm not gonna die. Don't you think that you're overreacting just a little?" She could see that there was no convincing him.

"At least take it slowly today," she begged.

"Alright. But there's really nothing to worry about." But he couldn't convince her anymore than she could him. Even if the animals weren't going to attack today, there was still something wrong.

It turned out that Teyla's suspicion was correct. The creatures attacked just as they had every other time that she had passed that spot. This time, though, she fought with Sheppard. But the end result was unchanged. Sheppard fell, and the creatures swarmed him.

"Get back to the gate!" he shouted at her. This time she listened without questions. She didn't want to see him die again.

By the time she got to the gate, she had had enough. Whatever Michael had done, she was sick of it, and it was time to end it.

"Michael!" she called to him. "Whatever you are doing, stop it! You've made your point; if you are going to kill me at least let things be real. No more tricks, no more _lies_."

"Teyla, why do you continue to underestimate me? I can do anything I want here. You're nothing but a puppet. _He_," he pointed to his left, and she saw Sheppard, being dragged by the creatures that had attacked him. He was still alive, "is just a puppet. Nothing here is anything more than a toy for me to play with."

"Let her go!" John demanded. "You can do whatever you want with me; just let her go!" Michael laughed.

"Why should I?" he asked. "My fun is only just beginning."

***

Sheppard had become increasingly upset as they continued. Suddenly, abandoning all stealth, he took off as fast as he could. The others took only a second to catch on, and managed to keep up with him; or at least almost, in McKay's case.

"What is it?" Ronon asked, matching Sheppard pace for pace.

"I dont know exactly. But something just happened; she's in pain, a lot of it." His voice was agitated, and Ronon's worry mirrored his.

"Is she alright?"

"I don't know; but we're close now. Come on!" It took an incredibly short amount of time for them get to Michael and Teyla. When they found them, Teyla was lying on the ground, unmoving and seemingly lifeless. Michael was leaning over her, but he turned when he heard them coming. And he was holding a wicked looking knife to Teyla's throat.

They all froze, but were too angry to be amazed.

"Don't come any closer," he said with feeling. "I will kill her."

"Not before I get a clean shot at you," Ronon growled. Michael smiled.

"Surely you don't believe that I would not make provsion for her otherwise, do you? If I die, then you still will not get her back; she will die as well."

"Well if you're both gonna die I'd rather you go first," Sheppard said, not quite an order for Ronon to shoot; but definately one to be ready to.

"Go ahead and try," Michael dared them. "You won't get anything out of it."

John felt something odd, off. He'd though that just being able to find them was all that he could do; but he could still feel them both. He wondered if he could connect to Teyla, like she so often did with the wraith.

"Keep him talking," he muttered to Ronon, and reached out for her with his mind. For a minute, he didn't feel anything. Then suddenly, there was something different. He touched her mind. He explored the feeling gently, until he was able to get in. He could feel Michael also; but the wraith didn't seem to be aware of him.

The second he passed Michael, he was plunged into another world. He could see Michael, and Teyla. And hanging from the mouth of a tirger-like creature, he saw himself. They all looked at him when he appeared. Teyla gasped. Michael looked angry. John ignored him, and reached out his hand towards Teyla.

"Teyla, it's alright, I'm here now. Take my hand, and I'll get you outta here, back home."

"Don't listen to him!" the other Sheppard said. "Michael's faking him, too; he'll take you back to the beginning again, and you'll never get out." Michael stood back, apparently content to wait this out, and confident that Teyla wouldn't get out no matter what she decided. But it annoyed him that Sheppard had been able to slip past him to get in.

"Teyla," Sheppard took a step closer. "You know me, you know you can trust me. Just take my hand and I'll bring you home."

"Don't abandon me, Teyla," the other Sheppard said, twisting to try and get loose of the creature. "I wasn't going to let these things kill you; now don't let me die."

"Teyla, none of this is real," Sheppard said. He was looking deep into her eyes, trying to convince her to trust him. "Michael made it all up; but he can't really hurt you; all he can do is scare you. Trust me, please." She looked between the two Johns, then turned to Michael.

"Get out of my mind," she said, her voice rough with emotion.

"Teyla, you gave me control the second you stepped through the gate. This is my world; and all of you are at my command. There is no way out." he paused. "But make your choice. Maybe these two are stronger than you think; maybe they can save you from the poison. Didn't know I'd poisoned you, did you? The same stuff that you kept dreaming about. You have three days left, unless your friends leave and never return here."

"No way am I letting you take her!" Sheppard shouted. The other one remained strangely silent. And Teyla decided to take a chance. She grabbed Sheppard's outstretched hand, and imediately they both felt like they were being torn appart. Everything swirled around them; trees, clouds, sky; and John held her close to him. They were caught in a wild twirling of their world. Suddenly it ended; and for Teyla, everything went black.

***

Sheppard felt everything swirl around him, tearing at him like a great wind as he and Teyla were torn out of the connection with each other and Michael. He could feel her being ripped out of his arms. As he came back to reality, he stumbled backwards at the shock of the experiance. Michael also snapped out of it, although it was much more subtle. But as soon as he did, he lunged at them. Ronon didn't even have time to fire his gun; but he jumped in front of him, and they were locked in each other's grip.

Sheppard and McKay ran past them, and rolled Teyla onto her back. She was still unconscious, her ears bleeding from the pressure of the suddenly broken connection. There was a small wound in her arm as well that they didn't understand.

"Teyla," Sheppard whispered in her ear. She didn't wake up, didn't even stir. He looked between her and McKay.

"Okay, help me get her; it's time to go." For once McKay didn't complain, and helped John get her firmly in his arms, and they called to Ronon as they started back.

"Come on; it's time to go!" With a bone cracking blow he sent Michael flying across the clearing, and bolted. The whole time they ran they could hear his pursuit; but they made it. As McKay paused to dial the gate, he saw Sheppard waiting impatiently out of the corner of his eye. As worried as he was, he liked the picture of John carrying Teyla like that.

_'Just like "An Officer and a Gentleman",' _he thought, a smile playing on his lips despite his fear.

He dialed the last symbol and sent the IDC, and they ran through. As soon as they got to the city they called for a medical team, and met them halfway to the infirmary. Beckett had everything set up by the time they got there.

They laid Teyla gently on a bed, and as they explained to Carson what had happened and he hooked her up to various tubes and IV's, Sheppard delicately cleaned the blood from her ears.

"Did he say what kind of poison it was?" Carson asked.

"No. Only that it would kill her in three days." That meant that they didn't have a whole lot of breathing room. But Ronon seemed thoughtful, and not overly worried.

"Why aren't you freaking out?" McKay demanded of him. "She's dying, and all you can do is sit there and think?"

"Do you think that whatever's in this could help?" he pulled a small vial out of his pocket.

"Where did you get that?!" Sheppard demanded.

"Swiped it off Michael, while we were fighting." He was good.

"But is it the poison or some kind of antidote?" Beckett asked. They looked at each other, and sent it down to a lab to be tested. But the three of them never left their friend, the whole time. After about an hour, the report came back up, the same time as Teyla's blood tests did. And they had their answer.

***

Teyla felt wonderfully warm and numb. There was no more pain, no more fear. She felt like she was floating, not lying on anything, but suspeneded in space. It was so comfotable, so peaceful. Just that wonderfully warm and soothing darkness. She wondered if Michael's poison had killed her; and if she was dead now. She wondered if this was what death felt like.

Suddenly, she felt pain, first in her arm, and then in her stomach and chest. She wasn't dead; dead peple didn't feel pain. But after a moment the pain subsided, and she was back to drifting in the darkness. Eventually, she felt cooler, and faintly heard voices; her friends voices, sounding like they were a million miles away. She focused on them, trying to understand what they were saying.

Their voices gradually got louder, but the were muddled, like she was hearing them as a baby and didn't understand anything. Then there was a light behind her eyelids, and it was growing too bright. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block it out, to fade back into that gentle darkness where she felt like she was being held in a soft embrace. But the light persisted, and she blinked, trying to get ride of it or at least get accustomed to it. Immediately her friend's voices grew excited, and they grew clearer.

"Teyla! Teyla, are you alright?!"

"Is she awake?" McKay's voice. Her lips played with a slight smile. She tried again to open her eyes, and immediately she was surrounded by her friends, hearing McKay and Ronon both babbling all sorts of questions that betrayed Ronon's worry and Rodney's emotion.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper; she could force no more sound out.

"There was some kind of poison in your system; we had to get the antidote." McKay explained. "You've been unconscious for almost a week.

"Is this real?" she asked. Sheppard nodded, and for the first time he spoke.

"Would I be here if it wasn't?" her eyes widened a little bit.

"It really was you, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was. And, Teyla, it felt amazing!"

"Not all of it."

"No," he conceeded. "But to be that close... I wish it could have lasted."

"How did you do it?" he frown. The others had only the most basic idea of what they were talking about; Sheppard had told them what had happened without revealing anything really serious, that he thought was meant to stay in his and Teyla's minds only. And he'd admitted nothing of how it felt.

"I don't know. I guess I felt you when we were first on the planet, and when we found you stuck in Michael's mind I wondered if I could do what you can."

"Do you think that this was just a one time thing?" McKay asked them. "Or will you guys be able to do this at will now?" Sheppard shrugged.

"I guess we'll need to test it." He closed his eyes, and Teyla focused on his face. Neither she or Sheppard moved, and after only a few seconds, their minds linked, and they created a world. Teyla drew a favorite place from deep in her memory, and in their minds, they were standing in it.

"This is amazing," he said. She smiled a little. "Is this what it's like every time?"

"No, it's very different with a wraith. But this is far more pleasant."

"I wish we could stay like this forever," he murmured. She agreed. But they both knew better than that.

Sheppard drew her into his arms, and held her close. They seemed to stay like that for a long time. She leaned into him, grateful to have him near, almost forgetting that this was all in their minds.

"John?" she mumbled into his shoulder after a while.

"Yeah?" his breath tickled across her hair. For a moment her lips froze, and her words faltered. The words that she was about to speak would ultimately shape her future and make certain the choice that she had dreaded for the past two years. But after all that had happened she could not bear to leave it unsaid. If she never got another chance...

"I love you," she said.

In that moment, as soon as the words were spoken, their minds and souls were completely opened to each other. All their memories, all their feelings and fears; their deepest secrets laid bare to each other with no boundaries. John saw how difficult this choice had been for her, and he was that much more grateful that she had chosen him.

"Teyla," he took her chin in his hands. "You know that I've always loved you. Since that first night I came to Pegasus. The second I saw you I knew that I loved you, and that I always would. No matter what you would have chosen, I would still have loved you."

"But all those others? Chaya and Ana and Nancy...?"

"Nothing compared to you. And with you, I'm gonna do things right."

"What do we tell the others?" she asked, nervous about what their friends would think.

"We could just elope; not tell anyone. At least, not until we've had time to get used to the idea of being married."

"Alright."

"So you wanna?" she smiled a little at him.

"Absolutely." Their lips met in a beautiful kiss, long and passionet and pure, sealing their promise and their bond forever.

**

_A/N: Okay, only one more chapter after this I think; *maybe* two. But I REALLY hope that you liked this one! :D Please leave a review and let me know! :D_


	15. Circles

_Author's Note: This chapter has taken a while; but it's actually almost exactly on time, since I planned to do it as a New Years Eve chapter anyways. This is the very last---which at the same time excites and devastates me---and I hope that you all enjoy it!!! =D Thank you to_ **jtjaforever, bsctjbclb, Gater101, dispatcher652, Linyke, APFW, Lone-ranger1, Grannanatlanta, Mechia132, rmonroe, Wendy Jackson, jodz92, , The Layman, SGAFirenity,** and **star-light 101** _for your reviews; you've all been amazing!! _: )

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**Circles **

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John and Teyla stood on the wide porch, the latter fidgeting nervously as John reached to ring the bell. He paused when he noticed, glancing at her, and grinned.

"You have no reason to be nervous," he assured her. "We did this last year, remember? If anyone should be worrying, it should still be me." She rolled her eyes.

"I know. But I cannot help it. We were here for three days before; and things have changed so much since then. What if they do not think that we have made the right decision...?"

"Trust me, Teyla, my dad wanted this. He would never have let me give you that necklace if he didn't want me to be with you." Teyla fingered the delicate red glass pendant hanging from her neck, running it back and forth across the chain.

"Are you sure?"

"Would I tell you that if I wasn't?" She cocked an eyebrow at him, and he sighed. "Alright, well, maybe I _would_...but I'm serious about this. That necklace was the key to his proposal to my mom."

"What do you mean?"

"I never did tell you that story, did I?" John remembered, thinking back over the year since he had last been to his father's house. "You asked once; I told you that I wasn't ready."

"Are you now?" she asked, her voice soft and just a little higher than normal. John met her dark, warm eyes, and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess I am." He abandoned the door, and sat Teyla down on a bench to the left of the doorway, curving one arm around her shoulders and looking up at the stars, gathering his thoughts. After a long moment, he spoke.

"My parents were _absolutely_ in love," he started. "That was one of the reasons why things changed so much after Mom died; Dad just didn't know how to deal with her being gone. But before that...life was good." He paused. "On Earth, generally, people give rings when they ask someone to marry them..."

"My people have similar rituals," Teyla murmured, half to herself.

"...my dad _did_give my mom a ring when he asked her, too; but he also gave her that necklace. He bought it for her a long time before he ever got up the courage to pop the question; but when he did, this was the first thing that he gave her. Mom used to tell the story all the time; she always said that he knelt in front of her, handed her the box, and said "You bring out the best in me." And to her, that was as much of a proposal as the actual question." He trailed off, losing the rhythm of his story, and looked for the first time since he'd begun at Teyla's face. She was still looking down and fingering the necklace, but he could see her eyes widening.

"...You said that to me," she remembered at length, looking up at him. "When you gave it to me."

"That's right."

"And then you wouldn't tell me why...is that what you meant?"

"Well...not exactly, but kinda, yeah."

"Why did you hide it from me, then?" John winced a little. So much pain and trouble could have been avoided, for both of them, if he had been honest with her from the start.

"Because I was a dumb idiot." Teyla smiled crookedly.

"I believe that Rodney would call that phrase a "double negative"," she informed him. John laughed, what little tension that he'd felt draining away.

"Yeah, probably. But Rodney's not here to correct me; so I don't see why you have to." Teyla blinked at him, looking innocent but playful.

"I said nothing."

"I think that Rodney would call that one a _lie_, then," he said. "And then he would go on to explain in great detail the obvious fact that someone who has just spoken can not, in fact, have said nothing; unless of course they used the _word_nothing, in which case, they would not have said no words---which is one meaning of nothing---but they did technically use the word..." Teyla shoved his shoulder, but there was no real force behind it; no intent to inflict damage.

"Please, stop. As you said, he is not here; must you bring his spirit to your family's house with us?"

"Excellent point." John stood up, and took her hand as she stood, as well. For a moment they stood there and looked at each other; and then both their lips began to curve into smiles. John gave a gentle tug on her hand.

"Come on," he said, reaching for the doorbell again with his free hand. "Let's go in and show them the soon-to-be Mrs. Sheppard." Teyla caught his hand before he could touch the bell, and turned him towards her.

"I believe that they already suspect," she whispered, glancing up above them. John followed her raised eyes to a little bunch of bright green and white stuff tied above their heads with a red ribbon.

"Are you kidding me? It's not even Christmas anymore." They hadn't been able to make it back in time; instead, they had settled on New Years Eve for their annual visit that would doubtless become traditional. So it made no sense... "Why would they leave mistletoe up?" He looked back down at Teyla to see her staring at him with wide, unblinking eyes.

"Do you wish to dishonor your own tradition, John?" she asked. He took about half a second to pretend to think that over.

"Nah, that would be dumb." He leaned over and kissed her perfect, honey-sweet lips, drinking in the taste of her. The rest of his thought was ignored until they came up for air. "Why give up an excuse to kiss the most beautiful woman in two galaxies?" He raised her hands to his lips and kissed them softly, ring above where the silver and diamond ring encircled her finger, and then leaned forward and kissed her again.

Somewhere, a clock struck midnight.

Fin.

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_A/N: And so, fair readers, we have come to the end. This has been one of the crazier, amazing journeys that I have taken this year in my writing; and I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate you all; your favorites, alerts, and lovely reviews. Thank you for sticking with me through this thing; and I hope that in the new year I will be able to find more stories to give to you all. Thank you so much, and God bless!! : )_

_...Happy New Year to all, and to all, a good night!!! : )_


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